Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” At Motorcycle Rally

activistagainstleatherA quite funny true story?

Johnstown, PA. Local and state police scoured the hills outside rural Johnstown, Pennsylvania, after reports of three animal rights activists going missing after attempting to protest the wearing of leather at a large motorcycle gang rally this weekend. Two others, previously reported missing, were discovered by fast food workers “duct taped inside several fast food restaurant dumpsters,” according to police officials. “Something just went wrong,” said a still visibly shaken organizer of the protest.

The organizer said a group of concerned animal rights activist groups, “growing tired of throwing fake blood and shouting profanities at older women wearing leather or fur coats,” decided to protest the annual motorcycle club event “in a hope to show them our outrage at their wanton use of leather in their clothing and motor bike seats.”

“In fact,” said the organizer, “motorcycle gangs are one of the biggest abusers of wearing leather, and we decided it was high time that we let them know that we disagree with them using it…ergo, they should stop.” According to witnesses, protesters arrived at the event in a vintage 1960’s era Volkswagen van and began to pelt the gang members with balloons filled with red colored water, simulating blood, and shouting “you’re murderers” to passers by. This, evidently, is when the brouhaha began.

“They peed on me!!!” charged one activist. “They grabbed me, said I looked like I was French, started calling me ‘La Trene’, and duct taped me to a tree so they could pee on me all day!” “I…I was trying to show my outrage at a man with a heavy leather jacket, and he…he didn’t even care. I called him a murderer, and all he said was, ‘You can’t prove that.’ Next thing I know he forced me to ride on the back of his motorcycle all day, and would not let me off, because his girl friend was out of town and I was almost a woman.” Still others claimed they were forced to eat hamburgers and hot dogs under duress. Those who resisted were allegedly held down while several bikers “farted on their heads.” Police officials declined comments on any leads or arrests due to the ongoing nature of the investigation, however, organizers for the motorcycle club rally expressed “surprise” at the allegations.

“That’s preposterous,” said one high-ranking member of the biker organizing committee. “We were having a party, and these people showed up and were very rude to us. They threw things at us, called us names, and tried to ruin the entire event. So, what did we do? We invited them to the party! What could be more friendly than that? You know, just because we are all members of motorcycle clubs does not mean we do not care about inclusiveness. Personally, I think it shows a lack of character for them to be saying such nasty things about us after we bent over backwards to make them feel welcome.”

When confronted with the allegations of force-feeding the activists meat, using them as ad hoc latrines, leaving them incapacitated in fast food restaurant dumpsters, and ‘farting on their heads,’ the organizer declined to comment in detail. “That’s just our secret handshake,” assured the organizer. (via David Monahan)

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19 Responses to “Activists Missing After Declaring “War on Leather” At Motorcycle Rally”


  1. 1 Steve Kelly Jan 21st, 2010 at 7:23 am

    I’m so glad I bought another leather jacket last night and had a big steak cooked just the way I like it, blue.

  2. 2 Boss Hawg Jan 21st, 2010 at 7:24 am

    Great story! But come on, do you really believe it?

    “The story above is a satire or parody. It is entirely fictitious.”

    Boss Hawg

  3. 3 Bigalyts Jan 21st, 2010 at 7:55 am

    What Motorcycle Rally is in Johnston Pa. in the Dead of Winter ? Think about it, the only Dood’s that would show up in Winter of Johnston, Pa. a snow Belt area is the IRON BUTT Dood’s and they aren’t that Clever !!!!

  4. 4 Teaxsgrumpy Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:01 am

    There is nothing wrong with being a member of PETA or People Eating Tasty Animals. I sure wish them luck finding the missing people how will society function without them.

  5. 5 Rogue Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:07 am

    I thought it was hillarious and something that could have happened in the 70s.
    I decided to check it out and found it was a spoof.
    There is a website that has people write things like this on many subjects.
    You can probably find it with a search engine like I did.
    Now back to the subject, maybe it is time for more motorcycle people to do things like this.
    It is obvious that motorcycle riders like to think this happened because it is all over the internet and in most cases with favorable comments.

  6. 6 Rogue Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:13 am

    This is the site it was on originally http://www.thespoof.com/

  7. 7 Jim C Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:27 am

    Personally,I was hoping it was true.

  8. 8 choppertom Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:53 am

    I live about fifteen minutes from Johnstown, Pa.
    I could only hope that this story were true, but it’s not. I could tell by not reading any mention of “hunting for food or sport”.
    If this really happened, the guy taped to a tree would also have deer horns and a target.

    wouldn’t have been suprised that the local clubs would have “fed” him to the others also.

    wait a minute……maybe that did happen.

  9. 9 busfreak Jan 21st, 2010 at 9:00 am

    Fist Scott Brown wins and now this. Man things are looking up.

  10. 10 Rogue Jan 21st, 2010 at 9:22 am

    I Personally would like to THANK all of the People of Mass who took the time to Vote on Tuesday

  11. 11 Jeff Nicklus Jan 21st, 2010 at 10:39 am

    True or not this is some funny crap! I myself am a member of PETA ….. People Eating Tasty Animals!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  12. 12 Jeff Nicklus Jan 21st, 2010 at 10:49 am

    Rogue,

    Like you I am thrilled that Scott Brown (AKA: The Obama Spoiler) was elected to the Senate. In fact I am so appreciative of the people of The Commonwealth of Massachusetts that for the next 60 days I will no longer refer to the Commonwealth as “The Peoples Republic of Massachusetts”! The best part of Browns election is watching Osama Obama, the White House talking heads and the drive by media doing the “oh crap how could this happen shuffle” ………

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  13. 13 fuji Jan 21st, 2010 at 2:05 pm

    Hopfully when Scott Brown takes office it will be in memory of the Chapaquitic death of Mary Jo Kopechne and the fall of Ted Kennedy.

  14. 14 nicker Jan 21st, 2010 at 8:36 pm

    Great story!

    RE:
    “…farting on their heads, …….. That’s just our secret handshake…”

    Hell, that’s right out-a Monty Python.

    Laughed so hard i damned near puked………… 🙂

    -nicker-

  15. 15 busfreak Jan 22nd, 2010 at 9:28 am

    Massachusetts the state that saved a nation!

  16. 16 Bud Jan 22nd, 2010 at 6:10 pm

    Too good to be true…

  17. 17 ROCKSTAR Jan 24th, 2010 at 12:28 am

    funny!

  18. 18 Ritchie Jan 24th, 2010 at 8:06 am

    Hello from Massachusetts, Don’t know what Tuesday’s election had to do with this story,but here we go. I live two towns over from Wrentham, where Scott Brown is from. Hardly any Martha Coakley signs around me, probably outnumbered 20-1. It was the first time in years I had a smile on my face walking in to vote. Hopefully this is the first victory against the machine in this state. I wish you all weel in the new year, let’s turn this country around, and take it back!

  19. 19 The Producer Jan 27th, 2010 at 7:50 pm

    We will read this on the next Hog Radio show (shameless plug) even if it’s a parody it makes for a great laugh. We may comment on the Tiger Woods Ad but now were getting close to the edge on that one we’ll see.

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