Jan, Sue and Audrey haven’t seen each other since leaving school in a London suburb. They rediscover each other via friends, reunited and arrange to meet for lunch.
Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace dress. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, wearing a grey Chanel number. After the initial hugs and kisses she joins Jan for a glass of wine. Then Aud walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.
Jan explains that after leaving school and attending Oxford University she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of London ‘s leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft apartment on Park Lane and Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Portugal .
Sue relates that she graduated from Cambridge University, studied to become a doctor and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading financial investment banker in the City. They live in the Surrey stockbroker belt and have a second home in Italy .
Aud explains that after she left school at 17, she ran off with her boyfriend, George. They run a tropical bird park in Essex and grow their own vegetables. George can stand five parrots, side by side, on his erect penis.
Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Costco, they live in a small apartment in Bromley and have a caravan parked on the front drive. Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nursing care assistants in an old people’s home. They live in Peckham and take camping holidays in Kent.
Aud admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg…
Everyone was seated around the table as food was being served. Little Freddiep started eating as soon as his plate was ready. His mother scolded him saying ” Freddie wait til we say our prayer”. Freddie said ” I dont have to”. His mother insisted ”Yes you do. We always pray before eating at our house”. Little Freddie explained ,”That’s at OUR house but this is Grandma’s house and SHE knows how to cook”!