Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke-19First Text Message From Alan to Fred, his next door neighbor.

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door. I have a confession to make. I’ve been riddled with guilt these past few months and have been trying to get the courage to tell you to your face, but I am at least now telling you in text as I can’t live with myself a moment longer without you knowing. The truth is I have been sharing your wife, day and night when you’re not around, in fact, probably more than you. I haven’t been getting it at home recently, but that’s no excuse, I know. The temptation was just too much. I can no longer live with the guilt and I hope you will accept my sincerest apologies and forgive me. It won’t happen again. Please suggest a fee for usage and I’ll pay you. Regards, Alan.

Fred, feeling insulted and betrayed, grabbed his gun, and shot his neighbor dead. He returned home where he poured himself a stiff drink and sat down on the sofa. He look out his phone where he saw he had a second message from his neighbor,

Second text message from Fred To Alan.

Hi Fred, This is Alan next door again. Sorry about the typo on my last text. I expect you figured it out anyway, and that you noticed that darned Auto-Correct changed “WiFi” to “Wife.” Technology, hey? Regards, Alan.

3 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 rebel Oct 21st, 2016 at 11:26 am

    good one, he was probably equally guilty of something else he got away with so no harm

  2. 2 Tom Ryan Oct 21st, 2016 at 12:20 pm

    Here are some of the latest jokes for people who didn’t buy the December ’16 issue of Easyrider.

    1 – Walking along down the beach, Scooter found a bottle. He rubbed it and poof! A genie appeared. ‘I’ll grant you three wishes,’ the genie said, ‘There’s only one condition. I’m a lawyer’s genie, so for every wish you make, every lawyer in the world will get the same thing only in double.’
    After thinking a moment, Scooter said, ‘For my first wish I’d like ten million dollars.’
    ‘Lawyers will get twenty million,’ the genie reminded him. ‘Fine,’ said Scooter. ‘I’d also like a brand new CVO Harley with all the trimmings.’
    ‘Done,’ said the genie. ‘Now every lawyer in the world will get two of them. And what is your final wish?’
    ‘Well, you know,’ Scooter smiled, rubbing his whiskers, ‘I’ve always wanted to donate a kidney.’ (Fred Race)

    2 – A deaf mute walked into a drug store to buy some condoms, but he couldn’t find any on the shelf. He went to the counter but had trouble explaining what he wanted to the pharmacist. Frustrated, he finally unzipped his pants, put his penis on the counter and placed a five dollar bill next to it.
    The pharmacist looked puzzled for a moment, but then unzipped his pants, laid his huge schlong on the counter and put a fiver next to it. He then grabbed both bills and put them in his pocket.
    Exasperated, the deaf mute cursed the dude in sign language.
    ‘Hey man,’ said the pharmacist, ‘if you can’t afford to lose, then you shouldn’t bet!. (Ollie Oxenfree)

    3 – Little Billie got a homework assignment to find out something exciting and share it with the class the next day. When called upon the next day to share his assignment, he walked to the blackboard, made a small white dot and returned to his seat. Puzzled, the teacher asked him what it was and he answered, ‘It’s a period.’
    ‘Well, I can see that,’ the schoolmarm said, ‘but I don’t see what is so exciting about it.’
    ‘Well I don’t know either,’ Billy answered, ‘but last night my sister’s went missing and mom fainted and dad got the shotgun.’ (Gary Lowery)

  3. 3 nicker Oct 24th, 2016 at 9:35 pm

    I was think-n Fred would have replied:
    “..Great, le-me know when she’s kicked the clap…”

    -nicker-

Comments are currently closed.
Cyril Huze