Joke Of The Week

joke11A little boy wanted $100.00 very badly and prayed for weeks, but nothing happened. Then 
he decided to write God a letter requesting the $100.00. When the postal authorities received the letter to God /USA, they decided to send it to the President. The president was so amused that he instructed his secretary to send the little boy a $ 5.00 bill.  The president thought this would appear to be a lot of money to a little boy.
The little boy was delighted with the $5.00 bill and sat down to write a thank-you 
note to God, which read: ”Dear God: Thank you very much for sending the money. However, I noticed that for some reason you sent it through Washington   D.C. and those assholes took $95.00 in taxes”. (from Troy At Accutronix)


8 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 Fred P. May 15th, 2009 at 10:27 am

    Sleeping at work

    Ten Best Things To Say If You Get Caught Sleeping At Work:

    10. “They told me at the blood bank this might happen.”

    9. “This is just a 15 minute power-nap like they raved about in that time management course you sent me to.”

    8. “Whew! Guess I left the top off the White-Out. You probably got here just in time!”

    7. “I wasn’t sleeping! I was meditating on the mission statement and envisioning a new paradigm.”

    6. “I was testing my keyboard for drool resistance.”

    5. “I was doing a highly specific Yoga exercise to relieve work-related stress. Are you discriminatory toward people who practice Yoga?”

    4. “Why did you interrupt me? I had almost figured out a solution to our biggest problem.”

    3. “The coffee machine is broken…”

    2. “Someone must’ve put decaf in the wrong pot…” And the best thing to say if you get caught sleeping at your desk…

    1. Raise your head from the desk and say ” … in Jesus’ name. Amen.”

  2. 2 Jeff Nicklus May 15th, 2009 at 10:54 am

    Dr. John’s Constipation Cure

    If you are bothered by occasional or frequent constipation, look in the mirror and repeat the following phrase three times in succession when symptoms occur:

    “My financial and personal well being are totally in the hands of, Barack Obama, Joe Biden, Harry Reid, Nancy Pelosi, Tim Geithner, Rahm Emmanual, Barney Frank, and Chris Dodd”.

    If that doesn’t scare the crap out of you, then you are probably destined to be backed up for the rest of your life.

    There is no need to thank me for this advice, I’m just doing a public service.

    Over & Out,


  3. 3 fuji May 15th, 2009 at 3:41 pm

    The Stranded Irishman

    One day an Irishman, who had been stranded on a deserted island for over 10 years, saw a speck on the horizon. He thought to himself, “It’s certainly not a ship.” As the speck got closer and closer, he began to rule out even the possibilities of a small boat or a raft. Suddenly there strode from the surf a figure clad in a black wet suit.

    Putting aside the scuba tanks and mask and zipping down the top of the wet suit stood a drop-dead gorgeous blonde! She walked up to the stunned Irishman and said to him, “Tell me, how long has it been since you’ve had a good cigar?”

    “Ten years” replied the amazed Irishman. With that, she reached over and unzipped a waterproof pocket on the left sleeve of her wet suit and pulled out a fresh package of cigars and a lighter. He took a cigar,
    slowly lit it, and took a long drag. “Faith and begorrah,” said the castaway, “that is so good! I’d almost forgotten how great a smoke can be!”

    “And how long has it been since you’ve had a drop of good Bushmill’s Irish Whiskey?” asked the blonde.

    Trembling, the castaway replied, “Ten years.”

    Hearing that, the blonde reached over to her right sleeve, unzipped a pocket there and removed a flask and handed it to him. He opened the flask and took a long drink. ” ‘Tis nectar of the gods!”
    shouted the Irishman. ” ‘Tis truly fantastic!!!”

    At this point the gorgeous blonde started to slowly unzip the long front of her wet suit, right down the middle. She looked at the trembling man and asked, “And how long has it been since you played

    With tears in his eyes, the Irishman fell to his knees and sobbed, “Jesus, Mary and Joseph! Don’t tell me that you’ve got golf clubs in there too!”

  4. 4 madpuppy May 16th, 2009 at 10:37 am

    fuji , you are sick ! Funny, but Sick ! LOL

  5. 5 Jeff Nicklus May 20th, 2009 at 12:23 pm

    The economy is so bad…

    * CEO’s are now playing miniature golf.

    * Jewish women are actually marrying for love.

    * Hotwheels and Matchbox stocks are trading higher than GM.

    * Obama met with small businesses to discuss the Stimulus Package: GE,Pfizer, and Citigroup.

    * McDonalds is selling the ¼ ouncer.

    * Parents in Beverly Hills fired their nannies and learned their children’s names.

    * A truckload of Americans got caught Sneaking into Mexico.

    * The most highly-paid job is now jury duty.

    * Dick Cheney took his stockbroker hunting.

    * People in Africa are donating money to Americans.

    * Motel 6 no longer leaves the light on.

    * The Mafia is laying off judges.


    Congress says they are looking into this Bernard Madoff scandal.

    Hey,neat…the guy who made $50 billion disappear is being investigated by the people who made $750 billion disappear.

    Over & Out,


  6. 6 Nicker May 20th, 2009 at 3:10 pm

    Somewhere in Kenya a village is missing it’s Idiot.


  7. 7 Jeff Nicklus May 22nd, 2009 at 9:30 am

    Three Californian surgeons were playing golf together and discussing
    surgeries they had performed. One of them said, “I’m the best surgeon
    in California . In my favorite case, a concert pianist lost several
    fingers in an accident, I reattached them, and 8 months later he
    performed a private concert for the Queen of England ..”

    The second surgeon said, “That’s nothing. A young man lost an arm and
    both legs in an accident, I reattached them and two years later he won
    a gold medal in track and field events at the Olympics.”
    The third surgeon said, “You guys are amateurs.. Several years ago a
    woman was high on cocaine and marijuana and she rode a horse head-on
    into a train traveling 80 miles an hour. All I had left to work with
    was the woman’s hair and the horse’s ass. I was able to put them
    together and now she’s Speaker of the House.”

    Over & Out,


  8. 8 Jeff Nicklus May 22nd, 2009 at 10:08 am

    This is too good not to share ………..

    Over & Out,


Comments are currently closed.



Facebook Google+ Twitter