Joke Of The Week

joke11Husband and wife were having dinner at a very fine restaurant when this absolutely stunning young woman comes over to their table, gives the husband a big open-mouthed kiss, says she’ll see him later and walks away. His wife glares at him and says, “Who the hell was that?” “Oh,” replies the husband, “She’s my mistress.” “Well, that’s the last straw,” says the wife. “I’ve had enough, I want a divorce.”

“I can understand that’, replies her husband, “but remember, if we get a divorce it will mean no more shopping trips to Paris, no more wintering in Barbados , no more  summers in Tuscany, no more Mercedes and Porsches’s in the garage and no more yacht club. But the decision is yours.” 

Just then, a mutual friend enters the restaurant with a gorgeous babe on his arm. “Who’s that woman with Jim?” asks the wife. “That’s his mistress”” says her husband.. “Ours is prettier” she replies…(sent by Alan Bernard)


4 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 FREDP Sep 24th, 2009 at 11:18 am

    “It’s getting nasty now between President Obama and Rush Limbaugh. In fact, Limbaugh told his radio audience he’s not going to ‘bend over’ and grab his ankles just because Barack Obama is black. Well, you know, let’s take race out of it for a minute. Now, honestly, regardless of who’s president, do you think there’s any chance in hell Rush Limbaugh could bend over and grab his ankles?” –Jay Leno

  2. 2 nicker Sep 25th, 2009 at 12:24 am

    ‘Bless me Father, for I have sinned.
    I have been with a loose girl’.

    The priest asks, ‘Is that you, little Joey Pagano?’
    ‘Yes, Father, it is.’
    ‘And who was the girl you were with?’

    ‘I can’t tell you, Father. I don’t want to ruin her reputation’.
    “Well, Joey, I’m sure to find out her name sooner or later
    so you may as well tell me now. Was it Tina Minetti?’

    ‘I cannot say.’
    ‘Was it Teresa Mazzarelli?’
    ‘I’ll never tell.’
    ‘Was it Nina Capelli?’
    ‘I’m sorry, but I cannot name her.’
    ‘Was it Cathy Piriano?’
    ‘My lips are sealed.’
    ‘Was it Rosa DiAngelo, then?’
    ‘Please, Father, I cannot tell you.’

    The priest sighs in frustration.
    ‘You’re very tight lipped, and I admire that.
    But you’ve sinned and have to atone.
    You cannot be an altar boy now for 4 months.
    Now you go and behave yourself.’

    Joey walks back to his pew,
    and his friend Franco slides over and whispers,
    ‘What’d you get?’

    ‘Four months vacation and five good leads.’


  3. 3 Spencer Sep 25th, 2009 at 5:49 am

    A women was very distraught at the fact that she had not had a date or any sex in quite some time. She was afraid she might have something wrong with her, so she decided to seek the madical expertise of a sex therapist.
    Her doctor recommended that she see the well known Chinese sex therapist Dr. Chang.
    So she went to see him. Upon entering the examination room Dr. Chang said “OK take off all your crose”. The women did as she was told.
    “Now get down and craw reery ,reery fass to odderside of room”
    Again the women did as she was instructed. Dr. Chang then said
    “OK now craw reery,reery fass back to me” So she did.
    Dr. Chang shook his head slowly and said “Your problem vewy bad. You haf Ed Zachary disease. Worse case I ever see. Dat why you not haf sex or dates”
    Worried the women asked anxiously”Oh my God Dr. Chang what is Ed Zachary Disease?”
    Dr. Chang sighed deeply and replied, “Ed Zachary Disease is when your face look Ed Zachary like your ass”

  4. 4 just my opinion Sep 25th, 2009 at 2:25 pm

    How is bungee jumping and getting a blow job from an 80 year old alike. They are both fun until you look down

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