Joke Of The Week. How to explain What You Do For a living.

joke11212[1]When you go to parties, people always ask what you do for a living. When you tell them “direct marketing” they will nod and you will know they are clueless. People don’t really know the difference between the various flavors of marketing & advertising. And book definitions don’t always help. So below is a more pragmatic way of explaining your line of work and its different specialties.
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You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You walk up to her and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Direct Marketing.

You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You ask your friend to walk up to her and say, “See that guy over there? He’s great in bed.” That’s Advertising. You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You get her phone number from someone. The next day you call and say, “I’m great in bed.” That’s Telemarketing. You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. You comb your hair, straighten your tie, then ask if she’d like a drink. You chat and joke with her throughout the evening, offer her a ride home, walk her to her door, then say, “By the way, I’m great in bed.” That’s Public Relations. You’re at a party and see a beautiful woman. She walks up to you and says, “I know you. You’re the one who is great in bed.” That’s Brand Recognition. (from Mike Greenwald)

Zipper's

16 Responses to “Joke Of The Week. How to explain What You Do For a living.”


  1. 1 fuji Feb 17th, 2010 at 11:13 am

    There is a man that just got done eating dinner and he was on his way to a party.

    Half way there he said, “man i really gotta take a dump.” he got off the freeway, found an abandoned gas station went in there and took a dump.

    While he was taking this dump he read a sign that said “There is no toilet paper… You have wipe your ass with your first two fingers, then stick them out the hole and they will be licked clean for you.”

    Well, he had no choice so he wiped his ass with his fingers and stuck them out the hole.

    All of a sudden a guy with two bricks smacked his fingers.

    The man screamed with pain and licked his own fingers.

  2. 2 fuji Feb 17th, 2010 at 6:26 pm

    What’s the difference between Tiger Woods and Santa?????

    Santa stops at 3 Ho’s

  3. 3 David Feb 18th, 2010 at 1:12 am

    What happened to the good jokes?

    SSDD;David

  4. 4 fuji Feb 18th, 2010 at 7:55 pm

    david ; you wanted something funny here it is brother.
    How’s this for an idea??

    Here’s a solution to all the controversy over full-body scanners. at airports

    Have a booth that you can step into that will not X-Ray you, but will detonate any explosive device you may have on you.

    It would be a win-win for everyone and there would be none of this crap about racial profiling..!!!

  5. 5 Fredp Feb 18th, 2010 at 10:45 pm

    Anyway, living in zooland, Mr. Penquin decided to take his car and visit some relatives in the next county. On the way, his car starts to make noises and pulls into a repair shop. The mechanic says it may take an hour or so to look at. Well, being a hot day, Mr. Penquin decides to go over to the local ice cream shop and have a “cold one” or as all penquins love, a couple vanilla cones!
    After finishing up his delicious Vanilla cones he heads back to the repair shop. The mechanic was just finishing up repairs and walks over to the Penquin and tells him, “you only blew a seal”! Mr. Penquin, quite outraged and embarrassed, yells, back, I was only eating a vanilla cone!!!!

  6. 6 just my opinion Feb 19th, 2010 at 7:00 pm

    Proof that men have better freinds than women do.

    Friendship among Women:
    A woman didn’t come home one night. The next morning she told her husband that she had slept over at a friend’s house. The man called his wife’s 10 best
    Friends. None of them knew anything about it.

    Friendship among Men:
    A man didn’t come home one night. The next morning he told his wife that he had slept over at a friend’s house. The woman called her husband’s 10 best friends. Eight confirmed that he had slept over, and two said he was still there.

  7. 7 Michael Murphey Feb 19th, 2010 at 11:50 pm

    Justmyopinion, you’re a dumbass. Each one of you’re posts demonstrates that. Why don’t you stop writing on this blog. I feel dumber reading you’re comments.

  8. 8 Beemer Feb 22nd, 2010 at 10:37 am

    A view of how the economy works

    It is the month of August, on the shores of the Black Sea. It is raining, and the little town looks totally deserted. It is tough times, everybody is in debt, and everybody lives on credit.

    Suddenly, a rich tourist comes to town. He enters the only hotel, lays a 100 Euro note on the reception counter, and goes to inspect the rooms upstairs in order to choose one.

    The hotel proprietor takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the butcher.

    The butcher takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the pig grower.

    The pig grower takes the 100 Euro note, and runs to pay his debt to the supplier of his feed and fuel.
    The supplier of feed and fuel takes the 100 Euro note and runs to pay his debt to the town’s prostitute that in these hard times, gave her “services” on credit.

    The hooker runs to the hotel, and pays off her debt with the 100 Euro note to the hotel proprietor to pay for the rooms that she rented when she brought her clients there.

    The hotel proprietor then lays the 100 Euro note back on the counter so that the rich tourist will not suspect anything. At that moment, the tourist comes down after inspecting the rooms, and takes his 100 Euro note, after saying that he did not like any of the rooms, and leaves town.

    No one earned anything.  However, the whole town is now without debt, and looks to the future with a lot of optimism..…
    And that, ladies and gentlemen, is how our Government are doing business today…

  9. 9 just my opinion Feb 22nd, 2010 at 12:30 pm

    Michael Murphey; The dumbass is the one that does not get the joke “that would be you”.

    Here is one you may get.

    Your mother disappears for three days.
    when she comes home she tells your daddy that she was kidnapped by bikers and raped for a week.
    your daddy tells her Bitch you have only been gone for three days not a week.
    She answers I know I am just her for a bath and to get more vasaline my ass hurts

    Stick that in your crack pipe and smoke it.

  10. 10 Jeff Nicklus Feb 22nd, 2010 at 4:54 pm

    John and Helen met while on vacation, and John fell head over heels in love with her. But after a couple of weeks in which John took Helen out to various dance clubs, restaurants, concerts, etc., he was convinced that it was true love.. And so….on the last night of his vacation, the two of them went to dinner and had a serious talk about how the relationship would continue.

    “It’s only fair to warn you, I’m a total golf nut,” John said to his new found lady friend. “I eat, sleep and breathe golf, so if that’s going to be a problem, you’d better say so now!”

    Helen took a deep breath and responded: “Since we’re being honest with each other, here goes …. You need to know that I’m a hooker.”

    “I see,” John replied. “That’s a problem, for sure.” He spent some time looking down at the table, deep in thought. Then he added, “You know, it’s probably because you’re not keeping your wrists straight when you tee off.”

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  11. 11 Me.... Feb 22nd, 2010 at 7:16 pm

    “Just my Opinion” – I thought that joke was hilarious (the first one Mike seems to have “issues” with)…I even forwarded it to a few friends … keep ’em comin!!!

    Me 😉

  12. 12 fuji Feb 22nd, 2010 at 9:50 pm

    My wife and I are watching Who Wants To Be A Millionaire while we were in bed.
    I turned to her and said, “Do you want to have sex?”
    “No,” she answered.
    I then said, “Is that your final answer?”
    She didn’t even look at me this time, simply saying “Yes..”
    So I said, “Then I’d like to phone a friend.”

  13. 13 Jeff & Robbie Feb 24th, 2010 at 5:20 pm

    …don’t quit your day job fugi !

  14. 14 fuji Feb 24th, 2010 at 5:34 pm

    Jeff & Robbie
    My day job is to irritate people. I place hedge bets on it but as of today thank you I can go to the bank. LOL

  15. 15 Jeff & Robbie Feb 28th, 2010 at 2:45 pm

    … a boil is an irritation. Are you a boil?

  16. 16 Rick Oct 29th, 2010 at 7:22 pm

    I’d say Mike has several “issues”.

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