Two little boys, ages 8 and 10, were excessively mischievous. They were always getting into trouble and their parents knew all about it. If any mischief occurred in their town, the two boys were probably involved.
The boys’ mother heard that a preacher in town had been successful in disciplining children, so she asked if he would speak with her boys. The preacher agreed, but he asked to see them individually. So the mother sent the 8 year old first, in the morning, with the older boy to see the preacher in the afternoon.
The preacher, a huge man with a booming voice, sat the younger boy down and asked him sternly, ‘Do you know where God is, son? The boy’s mouth dropped open, but he made no response, sitting there wide-eyed with his mouth hanging open. So the preacher repeated the question in an even sterner tone, ‘Where is God?’ Again, the boy made no attempt to answer. The preacher raised his voice even more and shook his finger in the boy’s face and bellowed, ‘Where is God?’ The boy screamed and bolted from the room, ran directly home and dove into his closet, slamming the door behind him.
When his older brother found him in the closet, he asked,’What happened?’ The younger brother, gasping for breath, replied, ‘We are in BIG trouble this time. ‘GOD is missing, and they think we did it!’
HOW TO MAKE A WOMAN HAPPY:
It’s not difficult to make a woman happy.
A man only needs to be:
1. a friend
2. a companion
3. a lover
4. a brother
5. a father
6. a master
7. a chef
8. an electrician
9. a carpenter
10. a plumber
11. a mechanic
12. a decorator
13. a stylist
14. a sexologist
15. a gynecologist
16. a psychologist
17. a pest exterminator
18. a psychiatrist
19. a healer
20. a good listener
21. an organizer
22. a good father
23. very clean
24. sympathetic
25. athletic
26. warm
27. attentive
28. gallant
29. intelligent
30. funny
31. creative
32. tender
33. strong
34. understanding
35. tolerant
36. prudent
37. ambitious
38. capable
39. courageous
40. determined
41. true
42. dependable
43. passionate
44. compassionate
WITHOUT FORGETTING TO:
45. give her compliments regularly
46. love shopping
47. be honest
48. be very rich
49. not stress her out
50. not look at other girls
AND AT THE SAME TIME, YOU MUST ALSO:
51. give her lots of attention, but expect little yourself
52. give her lots of time, especially time for herself
53. give her lots of space, never worrying about where she goes
IT IS VERY IMPORTANT:
54. Never to forget:
* birthdays
* anniversaries
* arrangements she makes
HOW TO MAKE A MAN HAPPY:
A Woman only needs to:
1. Show up naked
2: Bring the alcohol
Over & Out,
Jeff
Where did the White Man go wrong?
Indian Chief, ‘Two Eagles,’ was asked by a white government official, ‘You have observed the white man for 90 years.
You’ve seen his wars and his technological advances. You’ve seen his progress, and the damage he’s done.’
The Chief nodded in agreement.
The official continued, ‘Considering all these events, in your opinion, where did the white man go wrong?’
The Chief stared at the government official for over a minute and then calmly replied. ‘When white man find land, Indians running it. No taxes, No debt, Plenty buffalo, plenty beaver, Clean Water; women did all the work, Medicine man free. Indian man spend all day hunting and fishing; all night having sex.’
Then the chief leaned back and smiled. ‘Only white man dumb enough to think he can improve system like that.’
Over & Out,
Jeff
funny stuff keep them coming
…lol…jeff this is very nice and true.
How many of you will try this now that you see it. To funny / click on
http://media.mtvnservices.com/player/loader/?CONFIG_URL=http%3A%2F%2Fmedia.mtvnservices.com%2Fplayer%2Fconfig.jhtml%3Furi%3Dmgid%253Acms%253Amvideo%253Acmt.com%253A40319%26group%3Dmu
Q: How in Obama like a strip club ?
A: He reals you in with hope but in the end when you part ways you are left with no change !
Jeff,
RE: Chief Two Eagles
“… No talk to sheep! ……. Sheep lie!…”
-nicker-