An old and blind cowboy wanders into an all-girl biker bar by mistake. He finds his way to a bar stool and orders a shot of Jack Daniels. After sitting there for a while, he yells to the bartender. ‘Hey, you wanna hear a blonde joke?’
The bar immediately falls absolutely silent. In a very deep, husky voice, the woman next to him says: ‘Before you tell that joke, Cowboy, I think it is only fair, given that you are blind, that you should know five things:
1. The bartender is a blonde girl with a baseball bat. 2. The bouncer is a blonde girl. 3. I’m a 6-foot tall, 175-pound blonde woman with a black belt in karate. 4. The woman sitting next to me is blonde and a professional weight lifter. 5. The lady to your right is blonde and a professional wrestler. Now, think about it seriously, Cowboy. Do you still wanna tell that blonde joke?’
The blind cowboy thinks for a second, shakes his head and mutters. “No, not if I’m gonna have to explain it five times.” (sent by Val Herod)
HA! Now Thats Good Stuff!!!!!!!!
I hope we all can say this someday.
Toward the end of Sunday service, the Minister asked, ‘How many of you have forgiven your enemies?’
80% held up their hands.
The Minister then repeated his question.
All responded this time, except one small elderly lady.
‘Mrs. Neely?’; ‘Are you not willing to forgive your enemies?’
I don’t have any.’ She replied, smiling sweetly.
‘Mrs. Neely, that is very unusual. How old are you?’ ‘Ninety-eight.’ she replied.
Oh, Mrs. Neely, would you please come down in front & tell us all how a person can live ninety-eight years & not have an enemy in the world?’
The little sweetheart of a lady tottered down the aisle, faced the congregation, and said:
‘I’ve outlived the bitches.’
=
How to pick up a blond asumming she doesn.t weigh to much.
A skeleton walks in to a bar and orders a beer and a mop.
Two Blondes on either side of a river. “How do you get to the other side?” one shouts to the other, “What do you want to know for? You’re already there!” was the reply. YUK-YUK!! Wiz
The definition of confusion: A blind lesbian in a fish market!!!
Jim, That’s Great!! YUK-YUK-YUKETY-YUK!!!! Wiz
I got fired on my first day as a male masseuse today..
Apparently the instruction ‘finish off on her face’ didn’t mean what I thought it did.
I am not blond, but 6 foot tall. So think about it! 🙂