Joke Of The Week

Last year I replaced all the windows in my house with that expensive, double-panel energy efficient kind. And today, I got a call from the contractor who installed them. He was complaining that the work had been completed a whole year ago and I still hadn’t paid for them.

Hellloooo,………..just because I’m blonde doesn’t mean that I am automatically stupid. So, I told him just what his fast talking sales guy had told me last year, “that in ONE YEAR these windows would pay for themselves!”  Helllooooo? “It’s been a year!” I told him.

There was only silence at the other end of the line, so I finally just hung up. He never called back.

Zipper's

6 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 burnout Feb 22nd, 2012 at 11:56 am

    Little FredP was about 7 yrs old. His mom can’t help but notice him swallowing a m&m, biting the cat and running all around the house. He does this several times. His mother stops him and demands to know just what is it he thinks he is doing. He replies “Playin truck driver” She asks “What?” Fredp says ” Yeah, I am popping pills, eatin pu**y and haulin ass!!”

  2. 2 Troy Feb 22nd, 2012 at 6:01 pm

    Some country bars have mechanical bulls for entertainment. However, REAL country bars have mechanical sheep

  3. 3 Olive oil Feb 23rd, 2012 at 11:57 am

    A man is dining in a fancy restaurant and there is a gorgeous redhead sitting at the next table. He has been checking her out since he sat down, but lacks the nerve to talk with her.

    Suddenly, she sneezes and her glass eye comes flying out of its socket toward the man.

    He reflexively reaches out, grabs it out of the air and hands it back.

    “Oh my, I am so sorry,” the woman says as she pops her eye back in place.

    “Let me buy your dinner to make it up to you,” she says.

    They enjoy a wonderful dinner together and afterwards, they go to the theater, followed by drinks. They talk, they laugh, she shares her deepest dreams and he shares his. She listens.

    After paying for everything, she asks him if he would like to come to her place for a nightcap and stay for breakfast.

    They had a wonderful, wonderful time.

    The next morning, she cooks a gourmet meal with all the trimmings. The guy is amazed. Everything had been so incredible.

    “You know,” he said. “You are the perfect woman. Are you this nice to every guy you meet”?

    “No,” she replies.

    “You just happened to catch my eye!”

  4. 4 Wiz Feb 24th, 2012 at 6:17 am

    The other day I wuz at a resturant ‘an let one rip. An uptight yuppie eating with his fat cow of an ‘ol lady says “How DARE you FART in front of my WIFE!” I reply “I’m sorry, I didn’t know it was HER TURN!!”Yuk-Yuk!! Wiz

  5. 5 BigWave916 Feb 24th, 2012 at 10:27 am

    Guy comes home from work and his young son rushes out to greet him. The kid says “Daddy, when you go to heaven do you go feet first and naked.” The puzzled dad, paises, then says “I dont’ think so. Where did you get that idea?” The kid says ” Well, mommy was laying on the bed with no clothes on and her feet pointin up in the air yelling ‘Oh God, I’m coming’ and I believe she would have made it too if the neighbor hadn’t been holdin’ her down.”

  6. 6 Woody Feb 24th, 2012 at 9:22 pm

    3 guys walk into a bar. The 4th one ducks.

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