Joke Of The Week

Why People Hate To Attend High School Reunions…

Jan, Sue and Mary haven’t seen each other since High School. They rediscover each other via a reunion website and arrange to meet for lunch in a wine bar. Jan arrives first, wearing a beige Versace. She orders a bottle of Pinot Grigio. Sue arrives shortly afterward, in gray Chanel. After the required ritualized kisses she joins Jan in a glass of wine. Then Mary walks in, wearing a faded old tee-shirt, blue jeans and boots. She too shares the wine.

Jan explains that after leaving high school and graduating from Princeton in Classics, she met and married Timothy, with whom she has a beautiful daughter. Timothy is a partner in one of New York ‘s leading law firms. They live in a 4000 sq ft co-op on Fifth Avenue , where Susanna, the daughter, attends drama school. They have a second home in Phoenix.

Sue relates that she graduated from Harvard Med School and became a surgeon. Her husband, Clive, is a leading Wall Street investment banker. They live in Southampton on Long Island and have a second home in Naples , Florida.

Mary explains that she left school at 17 and ran off with her biker boyfriend, Jim. She runs a tropical bird park in Colorado, he’s a bike mechanic and they grow their own vegetables. She also explains Jim can stand five parrots, side by side, on his penis.

Halfway down the third bottle of wine and several hours later, Jan blurts out that her husband is really a cashier at Wal-Mart. They live in a small apartment in Brooklyn and have a travel trailer parked at a nearby storage facility.

Sue, chastened and encouraged by her old friend’s honesty, explains that she and Clive are both nurses’ aides in a retirement home. They live in Jersey City and take vacation camping trips to Alabama.

Mary admits that the fifth parrot has to stand on one leg…

Zipper's

12 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 Rick Lossner Apr 18th, 2012 at 8:01 am

    sooooooooooo.. 3 losers, and one is honest?

  2. 2 CafeSportyTC Apr 18th, 2012 at 9:56 am

    keeping up apprearences…… this is why i live in redneckville……

  3. 3 Rodent Apr 18th, 2012 at 12:17 pm

    Like TROPICAL TATTOO’s T-shirt says
    I’m not your role model”

  4. 4 Jeff Nicklus Apr 18th, 2012 at 5:21 pm

    Very fast thinking on the part of the Flight Attendant.

    A 50-something year old Muslim man arrived at his seat on a crowded flight and immediately didn’t want the seat. The seat was next to an elderly white woman reading her Bible.

    Disgusted, the Muslim man immediately summoned the flight attendant and demanded a new seat. The man said “I cannot sit here next to this infidel.”

    The flight attendant said “Let me see if I can find another seat.”

    After checking, the flight attendant returned and stated “There are no more seats in economy, but I will check with the captain and see if there is something in first class.”

    About 10 minutes went by and the flight attendant returned and stated “The captain has confirmed that there are no more seats in economy, but there is one in first class. It is our company policy to never move a person from economy to first class, but being that it would be some sort of scandal to force a person to sit next to an UNPLEASANT person, the captain agreed to make the switch to first class.”

    Before the irate Muslim man could say anything, the attendant gestured to the elderly woman and said, “Therefore ma’am, if you would so kindly retrieve your personal items, we would like to move you to the comfort of first class as the captain doesn’t want you to sit next to an unpleasant person.”

    Passengers in the seats nearby began to applaud while some gave a standing ovation.

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  5. 5 pavinguire Apr 18th, 2012 at 7:12 pm

    it took them several hours to get halfway through the 3rd bottle? 😉

  6. 6 David Apr 19th, 2012 at 12:55 pm

    pavinguire , you should know they are women and their mouths run constantly when together but are relatively quite at home.There fore the long time on the third bottle.
    Rick Lossner….Loser’s? Really? They dont live in mud huts in Africa or the sweat shops of India or China. Maybe your pretending to be a Bad Biker who likes to blog….. I dont know? Tell us really do you just ride a moped?

    SSDD;David

  7. 7 Nathan Apr 19th, 2012 at 1:17 pm

    This joke is from a Knight Rider episode. Michael Knight (Hasselhoff) is feeling down so KITT tries to cheer him up with a joke.

    KITT: Michael, when I was young we were soo poor that we couldn’t afford cheese for the mouse trap, so we drew a picture of a cheese.
    KITT: In the morning we caught a picture of a mouse.

  8. 8 Jeff Nicklus Apr 20th, 2012 at 1:11 pm

    The Difference Between Grandmothers & Grandfathers:

    Have you ever wondered what the difference is between Grandmothers and Grandfathers? Well, here it is: There was this very loving grandfather who always made a special effort to spend time with his son’s family on weekends. Every Saturday morning he would take his 5-year-old granddaughter out for a drive in the car for some quality time — just him and his granddaughter.

    One Saturday, however, he had a bad cold and really didn’t feel like being up at all. He knew his granddaughter always looked forward to their drives and would be disappointed. Luckily, his wife came to the rescue and said that she would take their granddaughter for the drive.

    When they came back, the little girl ran upstairs to see her grandfather who was still in bed.

    “Well, did you enjoy your ride with grandma?” he asked.

    “Oh, Grandpa, it was really fun. We didn’t see a single asshole, piece of crap, horse’s ass, blind bastard, dipshit, whore, Muslim goat humper or son of a bitch anywhere!”

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  9. 9 The Supreme Team Apr 21st, 2012 at 7:28 pm

    Didn’t think you had grandkids yet Jeff!

  10. 10 THHN Apr 23rd, 2012 at 9:42 am

    So, this Mexican woodpecker and a Canadian woodpecker were inMexico arguing about which country had the toughest trees.The Mexican woodpecker claimed Mexico had a tree that no woodpecker could peck.
    The Canadian woodpecker accepted his challenge and promptly pecked a hole in the tree with no problem. The Mexican woodpecker was amazed.The Canadian woodpecker then challenged the Mexican Woodpecker to peck a tree in Canada That was absolutely ‘impeccable’ (a term frequently used by woodpeckers ).
    The Mexican woodpecker expressed confidence that he could do it and accepted the challenge..

    The two of them flew to Canada where the Mexican woodpecker successfully pecked
    The so-called ‘impeccable’ tree almost without breaking a sweat…

    Both woodpeckers were now terribly confused. How is it that the Canadian woodpecker
    was able to peck the Mexican tree, and the Mexican woodpecker was able to peck
    The Canadian tree, yet neither was able to peck the tree in their own country?

    After much woodpecker pondering, they both came to the same conclusion: Apparently, Tiger Woods and Shane Warne were right, when they said, Your pecker gets harder when you’re away from home.

  11. 11 Jeff Nicklus Apr 23rd, 2012 at 11:43 am

    Question: How do you starve an Obama supporter to death?

    *

    *

    *

    *

    *

    Answer: Hide their Food Stamps under their work shoes!

    Come on you know that is funny!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  12. 12 John Williams Apr 25th, 2012 at 7:23 am

    Are those mini parrots or Macaws?

    ride on

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