Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-jokeTwo old guys, one 80 and one 87, were sitting on a park bench one morning. The 87-year-old had just finished his morning jog and wasn’t even short of breath. The 80-year-old was amazed at the guy’s stamina and asked him what he did to have so much energy. The 87-year-old said, “Well, I eat rye bread every day. It keeps your energy level high and you’ll have great stamina with the ladies.”

So, on the way home the 80-year-old stopped at the bakery. As he was looking around, the sales lady asked if he needed any help. He said, “Do you have any rye bread?” She said, “Yes, there’s a whole shelf of it. Would you like some?”

He said, “I want 5 loaves.” “My goodness, 5 loaves?” she said. “By the time you get to the 3rd loaf, it’ll be hard.” He replied, “I can’t believe everybody knows about this shit but me.”

4 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 Olive Oil Jan 16th, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    The Italian MAN of His House. With his Italian wife!
    Anthony had just finished reading a new book entitled,
    You Can Be THE MAN of Your House.
    He stormed to his wife in the kitchen and announced, “From now on, you need to know that I am THE MAN of this house and my word is Law. You’ll prepare me a gourmet meal tonight, and when I’m finished eating my meal, you’ll serve me a sumptuous dessert.
    After dinner, we’re going upstairs
    And we’ll have the kind of sex that I want.
    Afterwards, you’re going to draw me a bath so I can relax.
    You’ll wash my back and towel me dry and bring me my robe. Then, you’ll massage my feet and hands. Then tomorrow, guess who’s going to dress me and comb my hair?”
    His Sicilian wife Nancy replied,
    “The fuckin’ funeral director would be my first guess”.

  2. 2 Tony King Jan 16th, 2013 at 3:50 pm

    After a long night of making love, the guy
    notices a photo of another man, on the woman’s
    nightstand by the bed. He begins to worry.

    ‘Is this your husband?’ he nervously asks.

    ‘No, silly,’ she replies, snuggling up to him.

    ‘Your boyfriend, then?’ he continues.

    ‘No, not at all,’ she says, nibbling away at his
    ‘Is it your dad or your brother?’ he inquires,
    hoping to be reassured.

    ‘No, no, no! You are so hot when you’re jealous!’
    she answers.

    ‘Well, who in the hell is he, then?’ he demands.
    She whispers in his ear

    ‘That’s me before the surgery.’ …

  3. 3 Olive Oil Jan 16th, 2013 at 5:28 pm

    There comes a time when a woman just has to trust her husband…

    For example…

    A wife comes home late at night, and quietly opens the door to her bedroom.

    From under the blanket she sees four legs instead of two.

    She reaches for a baseball bat and starts hitting the blanket as hard as she can.

    Leaving the covered bodies groaning, she goes to the kitchen to have a drink.

    As she enters, she sees her husband there, reading a magazine.

    “Hi Darling”, he says, “Your parents have come to visit us,
    so l let them stay in our bedroom. Did you say “hello”?

  4. 4 BigWave916 Jan 16th, 2013 at 5:40 pm

    Nothing against Italians, but………

    Luigi and Antonia sit down with a lawyer who says “what can I do for you?” Antonia starts in “I wanna divorce from dis man, Luigi. I cannot live weeth heem no more”

    Lawyer says “Well what seems to be the problem?” Antonia replies: “He peeks hees nose and all da time we make love, he gotta be on top”

    Lawyer asks Luigi “This doesn’t seem to be enough reason for your marriage to break up. Is it true what she says?”

    Luigi answers “When I come to dis country from Italy, I say to the man at immigration ‘I love dis country, I wanna live her the rest of my life” dat man tell me “Well, keep your nose clean and dont’ fuck up.”

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Cyril Huze