Joke Of The Week. How Boobs Got Their Name…

Brilliant!!! I had no idea. You learn something every day. This is much simpler than I thought. No need to thank me. Just trying to keep readers informed and educated.

boobs

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12 Responses to “Joke Of The Week. How Boobs Got Their Name…”


  1. 1 USAYGO Feb 27th, 2013 at 10:45 am

    A little boy comes down to breakfast.
    Since they live on a farm, his mother asks if he had done his chores.

    ” Not yet, ” said the little boy.

    His mother tells him no breakfast until he does his chores.

    Well, he’s a little teed off, so he goes to feed the chickens, and he kicks a chicken. He goes to feed the cows, and he kicks a cow. He goes to feed the pigs, and he kicks a pig. He goes back in for breakfast and his mother gives him a bowl of dry cereal.

    ” How come I don’t get any eggs and bacon ?
    and why don’t I have any milk in my cereal ? ” he asks.

    ” Well, ” his mother says, ” I saw you kick a chicken, so you don’t get any eggs for a week. I saw you kick the pig, so you don’t get any bacon for a week either. I saw you kick the cow so for a week you aren’t getting any milk. ”

    Just then, his father comes down for breakfast and kicks the pussy cat halfway across the kitchen.

    The little boy looks up at his mother with a smile, and says,

    ” You gonna tell him or should I ? “

  2. 2 Ken Glenn Feb 27th, 2013 at 11:12 am

    Perfect Boobs (o)(o)

    Fake Boobs ( + )( + )

    Perky Boobs (*)(*)

    Big Nipple Boobs (@)(@)

    A Cups o o

    Wonder Bra Boobs (oYo)

    Lopsided Boobs (o)(O)

    Grandma Boobs \ o /\ o /

  3. 3 USAYGO Feb 27th, 2013 at 12:01 pm

    The birthday girl

    > Last week, she checked into a motel while out of town on her 70th
    > birthday and she was a bit lonely. She thought, “I’ll call one of
    > those men you see advertised in phone books for escorts and sensual
    > massages.”
    >
    > She looked through the phone book, found a full page ad for a guy
    > calling himself Tender Tony – a very handsome man with assorted
    > physical skills flexing in the photo. He had all the right muscles in
    > all the right places, thick wavy hair, long powerful legs, dazzling
    > smile, six pack abs and she felt quite certain she could bounce a
    > silver dollar off his well oiled bum….She figured, what the heck,
    > nobody will ever know. I’ll give him a call.
    >
    > “Good evening, ma’am, how may I help you?” (Oh my, he sounded sooo
    > sexy!) Afraid she would lose her nerve if she hesitated, she rushed
    > right in, “Hi, I hear you give a great massage. I’d like you to come
    > to my motel room and give me one. No, wait, I should be straight with
    > you. I’m in town all alone and what I really want is sex. I want it
    > hot, and I want it now.
    > Bring implements, toys, rubber, leather, whips, everything you’ve got
    > in your bag of tricks. We’ll go hot and heavy all night – tie me up,
    > cover me in chocolate syrup and whipped cream, anything and
    > everything, I’m ready!! Now how does that sound?”
    >
    > He said, “That sounds absolutely fantastic, but you need to press 9
    > for an outside line.”

  4. 4 richard Feb 27th, 2013 at 12:52 pm

    God, I love BOOBS!

  5. 5 USAYGO Feb 27th, 2013 at 2:12 pm

    The Marine Pilot
    The teacher gave her fifth grade class an assignment:
    Get their parents to tell them a story with a moral at the end of it.

    The next day, the kids came back and, one by one, began to tell their stories.
    There were all the regular types of stuff: spilled milk and pennies saved.
    But then the teacher realized, much to her dismay, that she had missed Janie.
    “Janie, do you have a story to share?”
    ”Yes ma’am. My daddy told me a story about my Mommy.
    She was a Marine pilot in Desert Storm, and her plane got hit.
    She had to bail out over enemy territory, and all
    she had was a flask of whiskey, a pistol, and a survival knife.
    She drank the whiskey on the way down so the bottle wouldn’t
    break, and then her parachute landed her right in the middle of ten Iraqi troops.
    She shot six of them with the pistol, until she ran out of bullets,
    killed three more with the knife, till the blade broke,
    and then she killed the last Iraqi with her bare hands.”

    ”Good Heavens,” said the horrified teacher.
    “What did your daddy tell you was the moral to this story?”

    “Stay away from Mommy when she’s been drinking

  6. 6 McGillicutty Feb 28th, 2013 at 4:50 pm

    When Charles De Gaulle decided to retire from public life, the British ambassador and his wife threw a gala dinner party in his honor.

    At the dinner table, the British Ambassador’s wife was talking small talk with Madame De Gaulle: “Your husband has been such a prominent public figure, such an important presence on the French and International scene for so many years! Imagine how quiet your retirement will seem in comparison. What are you most looking forward to in these retirement years?”

    “ A Penis,” replied Madame De Gaulle. A huge hush fell over the table. Everyone heard her answer … and no one knew what to say next.

    Le Grand Charles De Gaulle leaned over to his wife and said: “Ma cherie, I believe zat ze English pronounce zat word, ‘appiness!”

  7. 7 McGillicutty Feb 28th, 2013 at 4:53 pm

    My neighbor knocked on my door at 2:30 a.m. this morning; can you believe that … 2:30 AM?
    Lucky for him I was still up playing my Bagpipes.
    ____________________________

    I was in bed with a blind girl last night and she said that I had the biggest penis she ever lad her hands on.
    I said, “You’re pulling my leg.”
    ____________________________

    I saw a poor old lady fall over today on the ice!!!
    At least I presume she was poor – she only had $1.20 in her purse.
    ____________________________

    Went for my routine check up today and everything seemed to be going fine until he stuck his index finger up my ass!
    Do you think I should change dentists?
    ———————————————————–

    Did you hear about the fat, alcoholic transvestite –
    All he wanted to do was eat, drink and be Mary.
    ____________________________

    I got invited to a party and was told to dress to kill.
    Apparently a turban, beard and bomber jacket wasn’t what they had in mind.
    ____________________________

    My wife has been missing a week now. The police said I should prepare for the worst.
    So, I moved.
    ____________________________

    A wife says to her husband “I’m tired of you always pushing me around and talking behind my back.”
    He relied; “What do you expect? You’re in a goddamn wheelchair!”
    ____________________________

    My son was thrown out of school today for letting a girl in his class give him a hand-job. I said “Son, thrown out again? That’s 3 schools this year!
    You’d better stop before you’re banned from teaching altogether.”
    ____________________________

    I’ve heard that Apple has scrapped their plans for the new children’s-oriented iPod
    after realizing that “iTouch Kids” is not a good product name.
    ____________________________

    Survey Question asked at a Mall:
    Are there too many immigrants in America ?
    17% said yes;
    11% said No;
    72% said “me no speaka engleeese senor.”.
    ____________________________

    I was devastated to find out my wife was having an affair, but, by turning to religion,
    I was soon able to come to terms with the whole thing.
    Yup, I converted to Islam; we’ll be stoning her in the morning!
    ____________________________

    My girlfriend says she thinks that I might be a stalker.
    Well… she’s not exactly my girlfriend … yet.
    ____________________________

    Went to the pub with my girlfriend last night. Locals were shouting “pedophile!”and other names at me, just because my girlfriend is 21 and I’m 50. I mean Jeez,
    It completely spoiled our 10th Anniversary.
    ____________________________

    Q: What’s the difference between a blonde and a brick?
    A: The brick doesn’t follow you home after you lay it.
    ____________________________

    Remember the 7 qualities for the perfect girlfriend …
    Beautiful, Intelligent, Gentle, Thoughtful, Innocent, Trustworthy and Sensible.
    Or in other words ……….. B.I.G.T.I.T.S.
    ____________________________

    A lad comes home from school and excitedly tells his dad that he had a part in the school play and he was playing a man who had been married for 25 years.
    The dad says, ‘Stay positive son, maybe next year you’ll get a speaking part’.
    ____________________________

    Sometimes you just can’t win. I thought I’d be a gentleman and hold the door open for the young lady. Two minutes later she asked me, “Will you please leave and shut the toilet door?!”

    ———————————————————–
    Simple Simon met a pie man going to the fair.
    Said Simple Simon to the pie man, ‘What have you got there?’
    Said the pie man unto Simon, ‘Pies, you dumb shit’ !!

  8. 8 Olive Oil Feb 28th, 2013 at 6:40 pm

    After surgery

    “You’ll be fine,” he said.

    She asked,

    “How long will it be before I am able to have a normal sex life again doctor?”

    The surgeon seemed to pause, and a small tear ran down his cheek from the corner of his eye, which alarmed the girl.

    “What’s the matter Doctor? I will be all right, won’t I?”

    He replied, “Yes, you’ll be fine.

    It’s just that no one has ever asked me that after having their tonsils out.”

  9. 9 Olive Oil Feb 28th, 2013 at 6:42 pm

    One day, in line at the company cafeteria, Joe says to Mike, “My elbow hurts like hell. I guess I’d better see a doctor.”
    “Listen, you don’t have to spend that kind of money,” said Mike.

    “There’s a diagnostic computer down at Costco. Just give it a urine sample and the computer will tell you what’s wrong and what to do about it. It takes ten seconds and costs ten dollars. A lot cheaper than a doctor.”
    So, Joe deposits a urine sample in a small jar and takes it to Costco. He deposits ten dollars and the computer lights up and asks for the urine sample. He pours the sample into the slot and waits.
    Ten seconds later, the computer ejects a printout:
    “You have tennis elbow. Soak your arm in warm water and avoid heavy activity. It will improve in two weeks. Thank you for shopping at Costco.”

    That evening, while thinking how amazing this new technology was, Joe began wondering if the computer could be fooled.

    He mixed some tap water, a stool sample from his dog, urine samples from his wife and daughter, and a sperm sample from himself for good measure.

    Joe hurries back to Costco, eager to check the results. He deposits ten dollars, pours in his concoction, and awaits the results.

    The computer prints the following:

    1. Your tap water is too hard. Get a water softener. (Aisle 9).

    2. Your dog has ringworm. Bathe him with anti-fungal shampoo. (Aisle 7).

    3. Your daughter has a cocaine habit. Get her into rehab.

    4. Your wife is pregnant. Twins. They aren’t yours. Get a lawyer.

    5. If you don’t stop playing with yourself, your elbow will never get better.

    Thank you for shopping at Costco!

  10. 10 Olive Oil Feb 28th, 2013 at 6:43 pm

    An old married couple no sooner hit the pillows when the old man passes gas and says, ‘Seven Points.’

    His wife rolls over and says, ‘What in th…e world was that?’ The old man replied, ‘its fart football.’

    A few minutes later his wife lets one go and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score…’

    After about five minutes the old man lets another one go and says, ‘Aha. I’m ahead 14 to 7.’

    Not to be outdone the wife rips out another one and says, ‘Touchdown, tie score.’

    Five seconds go by and she lets out a little squeaker and says, ‘Field goal, I lead 17 to 14.’ Now the pressure is on for the old man.

    He refuses to get beaten by a woman, so he strains real hard.

    Since defeat is totally unacceptable, he gives it everything he’s got, and accidentally poops in the bed.

    The wife says, ‘What the hell was that?’

    The old man says, ‘Half time, switch sides

  11. 11 Red Dog Mar 1st, 2013 at 7:15 pm

    Got a new girlfriend. She’s Chinese. Her name is Wong Ho. At least I think that’s her name. She keeps yelling it when we’re having sex…

  12. 12 barney fife Mar 7th, 2013 at 5:11 pm

    Take me wife….please.

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