A man appeared before St. Peter at the Pearly Gates. “Have you ever done anything of particular merit?” St. Peter asked. “Well, I can think of one thing,” the man offered. “On a trip to the Big Horn Mountains out in Wyoming I came upon a biker club who were threatening a young woman. I directed them to leave her alone, but they wouldn’t listen to me. So, I approached the largest and most tattooed biker and smacked him in the face, kicked his motorcycle over, ripped out his nose ring, and threw it on the ground. I yelled, ‘Now, back off or I’ll kick the crap out of all of you!’ ” St. Peter was impressed, “When did this happen?” He replied “Couple of minutes ago…”
4 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”
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SIMPLE TRUTH
When a lady is pregnant, all her friends touch the stomach and say, “Congrats”.
But, none of them come and touch the man’s penis and say, “Good job”.
Moral of the story: “Hard work is never appreciated.”
I was banging this nice lady over her kitchen table when we heard the front door open.
She said, “It’s my husband! Quick, try the back door!”
Thinking back, I really should have ran – but you don’t get offers like that every day.
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I saw a fortune teller the other day. She told me I would come into some money.
Last night I banged a girl named Penny – is that spooky or what?
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Some guy just knocked on my door selling raffle tickets for poor homeless orphans.
I said, “Screw that – knowing my luck, I’d win one!”
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You gotta luv the Irish!!
Paddy rings his new girlfriend’s door bell, with a big bunch of flowers. She opens the door, sees the flowers, and drags him in. She lies back on the couch, pulls her skirt up, rips her knickers off and says ‘This is for the flowers!’
‘Don’t be silly,’ says Paddy, ‘You must have a vase somewhere!’
Father O’Malley rose from his bed one morning. It was
a fine spring day in his new west Texas mission parish. He walked to the
window of his bedroom to get a deep breath of the beautiful day outside. He
then noticed there was a jackass lying dead in the middle of his front lawn. He promptly
called the local police station. The conversation went like this:
“Good morning. This is Sergeant Jones. How might I help you?”
“And the best of the day te yerself. This is Father O’Malley at St. Ann’s
Catholic Church. There’s a jackass lying dead in me front lawn and would ye
be so kind as to send a couple o’yer lads to take care of the matter?”
Sergeant Jones, considering himself to be quite a wit and recognizing the
foreign accent, thought he would have a little fun with the good father,
replied, “Well now Father, it was always my impression that you people took
care of the last rites!”
There was dead silence on the line for a long moment…….
Father O’Malley then replied: “Aye,’tis certainly true; but we are also
obliged to notify the next of kin first, which is the reason for me call.”