Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44When you live on a farm, your perception is a little bit different…

A farmer drove to a neighbor’s farmhouse and knocked at the door. A boy, about 9, opened the door. “Is your dad or mom home?” said the farmer. “No, they went to town.” “How about your brother, Howard? Is he here?” “No, he went with Mom and Dad.” The farmer stood there for a few minutes, shifting from one foot to the other, mumbling to himself, when the young boy say’s, “I know where all the tools are, if you want to borrow one, or I can give Dad a message.”

“Well,” said the farmer uncomfortably, “No, I really want to talk to your Dad, about your brother Howard getting my daughter Suzy pregnant”. The boy thought for a moment…then says, “you’ll have to talk to my Dad about that. I know he charges $500 for the bulls and $150 for the pigs, but I have no idea how much he charges for Howard.”

Zipper's

8 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 fuji Dec 3rd, 2013 at 8:31 pm

    Remember when Playboy magazine reportedly offered Sarah Palin $4,000,000 to pose nude in an upcoming issue?

    Then Michelle Obama was offered $50 by National Geographic?

    And when KFC offered a “Hillary” meal, consisting of two small breasts and two large thighs?

    Now KFC is offering the “Obama Cabinet Bucket.” It consists of nothing but left wings and chicken shit. Just keeping you up to date…..

  2. 2 tim stricker Dec 4th, 2013 at 7:36 am

    That’s Funny

  3. 3 Jeff Nicklus Dec 4th, 2013 at 11:19 am

    Fuji,

    You da man!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  4. 4 USAYGO Dec 4th, 2013 at 11:19 am

    A man goes into the hospital for a vasectomy. Before the procedure ,a very attractive nurse comes in and takes his vitals, then tells him to take all of his clothes off. When he is fully undressed, she instructs him to lie down on the table. The man obeys. The nurse then takes all of her clothes off and climbs on top and has her way with him. Upon the completion of the act, the man catches his breath and asks what that was all about. The nurse informs the patient that studies have shown that before a vasectomy if the man has an ejaculation, he will be more relaxed and that the cord is easier for the surgeon to locate and sever, thereby making the surgery safer, more efficient, and quicker.

    The nurse then wheels the patient to the operating room. While they are going down the hall the patient looks through a window to the right and sees six men in a room masturbating.

    Curious, the man asks,” What are they doing in there”?

    The nurse responds, “They’re preparing for vasectomies too, but you have Blue Cross, and they have Obama Care.”

  5. 5 fuji Dec 4th, 2013 at 4:54 pm

    Jeff

    Miss your slant on Obama

    When I sent this I thought Jeff would like this . LOL.
    Peace
    Fuji

  6. 6 Olive Oil Dec 4th, 2013 at 6:06 pm

    As Air Force One arrives at the Heathrow Airport, President Obama strides
    to a warm
    and dignified reception from the Queen.
    They are driven in a 1934 Bentley to the edge of central London, where
    they change
    to a magnificent 17th century carriage hitched to six white horses. They
    continue on
    towards the Buckingham Palace, waving to the thousands of cheering
    Britons;
    all is going well.
    Suddenly, the right rear horse lets out the most horrendous earth shattering
    fart ever
    heard in the British Empire. The smell is so atrocious that both the
    passengers in the
    carriage, must use handkerchiefs over their noses. The fart shakes the
    coach, but,
    the two dignitaries of State do their best to ignore the incident.
    The Queen politely turns to President Obama:
    “Mr President, please, accept my regrets… I am sure you understand there
    are
    some things that even a Queen cannot control.”
    Obama, always trying to be “Presidential,” responded:
    “Your Majesty, do not give the matter another thought… Until you mentioned
    it,
    I thought it was one of the horses.”

  7. 7 Jeff Nicklus Dec 6th, 2013 at 12:26 pm

    Origins of a Christmas Tradition

    When four of Santa’s elves got sick, the trainee elves did not produce toys as fast as the regular ones, and Santa began to feel the Pre-Christmas pressure.

    Then Mrs. Claus told Santa her Mother was coming to visit, which stressed Santa even more.

    When he went to harness the reindeer, he found that three of them were about to give birth and two others had jumped the fence and were out, Heaven knows where.

    Then when he began to load the sleigh, one of the floorboards cracked, the toy bag fell to the ground and all the toys were scattered.

    Frustrated, Santa went in the house for a cup of apple cider and a shot of rum. When he went to the cupboard, he discovered the elves had drunk all the cider and hidden the liquor.. In his frustration, he accidentally dropped the cider jug, and it broke into hundreds of little glass pieces all over the kitchen floor. He went to get the broom and found the mice had eaten all the straw off the end of the broom.

    Just then the doorbell rang, and an irritated Santa marched to the door, yanked it open, and there stood a little angel with a great big Christmas tree.

    The angel said very cheerfully, ‘Merry Christmas, Santa. Isn’t this a lovely day? I have a beautiful tree for you. Where would you like me to stick it?’

    And thus began the tradition of the little angel on top of the Christmas tree.

    Not very many people know this, did you?

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  8. 8 nicker Dec 6th, 2013 at 11:10 pm

    Jeff,
    You reminded me to tell the story of the Biker and the Cage-pilot who were in court over an accident that had severely injured the biker’s riding partner. The judge asked the driver of the car to tell his side of the incident.

    “Your honor” said the driver, “It real wasn’t that big a deal, i simply pulled out into traffic when this motorcycle bumped into my car, causing the rider to fall onto his back and rectum.”

    Indignant with this slanted story, the biker immediately countered with:
    “Wrecked-him, Hell…… it damned near killed him.”

    -nicker-

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