Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44The doctor said, ‘Joe, the good news is I can cure your headaches. The bad news is that it will require castration. You  have a very rare condition, which causes your  testicles to press on your spine and the pressure creates one hell of a headache. The only way to  relieve the pressure is to remove the testicles.’

 Joe  was shocked and depressed. He wondered if he had  anything to live for.He had no choice but to go  under the knife. When he left the hospital, he was  without a headache for the first time in 20 years,  but he felt like he was missing an important part of himself.

As he walked down the street, he  realized that he felt like a different person. He could make a new beginning and live a new life.

 He saw a men’s clothing store and thought, ‘That’s what I need… A new suit…’ He entered the shop and told the salesman, ‘I’d like a new suit’. The elderly tailor eyed him briefly and said, ‘Let’s see…. Size 44 long.’ Joe laughed, ‘That’s right, how did you  know?’ ‘Been in the business 60 years!’ the tailor said. Joe tried on the suit it fit him perfectly.

As Joe admired himself in the mirror, the salesman asked, ‘How about a new shirt?’ Joe thought for a moment and then said, ‘Sure.’ The salesman eyed Joe and said  ‘Let’s see, 34 sleeves and 16-1/2 neck.’ Joe was surprised ‘That’s right, how did you know?’ ‘Been in the business 60 years.’ the tailor said. Joe tried on the shirt and it fit perfectly.

Joe walked comfortably around the shop and the salesman asked, ‘How about some new underwear?’ Joe thought for a moment and said, ‘Sure.’ The salesman said, ‘Let’s see… Size 36.’ Joe  laughed, ‘Ah ha! I got you! I’ve worn a size 32 since I was 18 years old.’ The salesman shook his head, ‘You can’t wear a size 32. A size 32 would press your testicles up against the base of your spine and give you one hell of a headache.’

Zipper's

2 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 mcgillicutty Dec 18th, 2013 at 1:23 pm

    CHRISTMAS CAROLS FOR THE DISTURBED

    1. Schizophrenia — Do You Hear What I Hear?

    2. Multiple Personality Disorder — We Three Kings Disoriented Are

    3. Dementia — Was I Going To Be Home for Christmas?

    4. Narcissistic — Hark the Herald Angels Sing All About Me

    5. Manic Depressive Disorder— Deck the Halls and Walls and House and Lawn and Streets and Stores and Office and Town and Cars and Buses and Trucks and Trees and…..

    6. Paranoid — Santa Claus is Coming to Town to Get Me

    7. Borderline Personality Disorder — Thoughts of Roasting on an Open Fire

    8. Personality Disorder — You Better Watch Out, I’m Gonna Cry, I’m Gonna Pout, Maybe I’ll Tell You Why

    9. Attention Deficit Disorder — Silent Night, Holy Ni… Oooh look at the Nativity! Can I have a candy cane? Why is Santa’s suit red?

    10. Obsessive Compulsive Disorder — Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle,Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells, Jingle Bells ,,,,,,,,,

  2. 2 Tom Ryan Dec 21st, 2013 at 3:26 pm

    THE OBAMA LIE-CLOCK

    A man died and went to heaven. As he stood in front of St. Peter at the Pearly Gates, he saw a huge wall of clocks behind him. He asked, “What are all of those clocks?”

    St. Peter answered, ” Those are lie-clocks. Everyone on earth has a lie-clock. Every time you lie the hands on your clock move.”

    “Oh,” said the man, “Whose clock is that?”

    “That’s Mother Teresa’s. The hands have never moved, indicating that she never told a lie.”

    “Incredible,” said the man. “And whose clock is that one?”

    St. Peter responded, “That’s Abraham Lincoln’s clock. The hands have moved twice, telling us that Abe told only two lies in his entire life.”

    “Where’s President Obama’s clock?” asked the man.

    “Obama’s clock is in Jesus’ office. He’s using it for a ceiling fan.”

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