Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44A guy goes to a female dentist to have a tooth extracted. She pulled out a large syringe to give an anesthetic shot. “No way, no needles! I hate needles!” the man exclaimed.

So she started to hook up the nitrous oxide tank, and the man said, “I can’t do the gas thing. Just the thought of having a mask on my face suffocates me!

The dentist then asked the patient if he had any objections  to taking a pill. “No,” he says, “I’m fine with pills.” So the dentist gave him two little blue pills and he swallowed them.

“What are those?” he asked. “Viagra,” she replied. “I’ll be damned,” said the patient, “I didn’t know Viagra worked as a pain killer.” “It doesn’t,” said the dentist, “But it will give you something to hold on to when I pull your tooth.”

Barnett Harley-Davidson

7 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 Azz Dec 27th, 2013 at 2:37 pm

    What do you get when you mix Viagra and Rogaine ?

    Hair that won’t lay down Giggiddy !

  2. 2 Olive Oil Dec 28th, 2013 at 3:00 pm

    Teacher asked the kids in her 3rd grade class: “What do you want to be
    when you grow up?”

    Little Johnny said: “I wanna be a billionaire & go to the most expensive
    clubs. I wanna find me the finest bitch, give her a Ferrari worth over a
    million bucks, an apartment in Monte Carlo, a mansion on the beach, a jet
    to travel throughout Europe, and an Infinite Visa Card, while banging her
    three times a day”.

    The teacher, shocked, and not knowing what to do with this horrible
    response from little Johnny, decides not to acknowledge what he said and
    simply tried to continue with the lesson . . . .

    “And how about you, Sarah?”

    “I thought I wanted to be a nurse. But, screw that. I want to be
    Johnny’s bitch.”

  3. 3 Olive Oil Dec 28th, 2013 at 3:01 pm

    A man joins a very exclusive nudist colony….

    On his first day there, he takes off his clothes and starts to wander around.

    A gorgeous petite blonde walks by, and the man immediately gets an erection.

    The woman notices his erection, comes over to him and says, ‘Did you call for me?’

    The man replies, ‘No, what do you mean?’

    She says, ‘You must be new here. Let me explain. It’s a rule here that if you get an erection, it implies you called for me.’

    Smiling, she leads him to the side of the swimming pool, lies down on a towel, eagerly pulls him to her and happily lets him have his way with her.

    The man continues to explore the colony’s facilities. He enters the sauna and, as he sits down, he farts…..

    Within minutes, a huge, hairy man lumbers out of the steam-room toward him, ‘Did you call for me?’ says the hairy man.

    ‘No, what do you mean?’ says the newcomer.

    ‘You must be new,’ says the hairy man, ‘it’s a rule that if you fart, it implies that you called for me.’ The huge man easily spins him around, bends him over a bench and has his way with him.

    The newcomer staggers back to the colony office, where he is greeted by the smiling, naked receptionist, ‘May I help you?’ she says.

    The man yells, ‘Here’s my membership card. You can have the key back and you can keep the $500 membership fee.’

    ‘But, Sir,’ she replies, ‘you’ve only been here for a few hours. You haven’t had the chance to see all our facilities.’

    The man replies, ‘Listen lady, I’m 69 years old. I only get an erection once a month. I fart 35 times a day!!’

  4. 4 USAYGO Dec 28th, 2013 at 3:08 pm

    Joke of the year, “Terence Tony”

  5. 5 Olive Oil Dec 28th, 2013 at 3:21 pm

    3 people having sex is a threesome, 2 is a twosome.
    So next time someone calls you ‘HANDSOME’, don’t take it as a compliment!

  6. 6 USAYGO Dec 30th, 2013 at 11:34 am

    >> A professor at the Arkansas University was giving a lecture on Paranormal Studies.
    >> To get a feel for his audience, he asks, ‘How many people here believe in ghosts?’
    >> About 90 students raise their hands.
    >> Well, that’s a good start. Out of those who believe in ghosts,
    >> do any of you think you have seen a ghost?’
    >> About 40 students raise their hands.
    That’s really good. I’m really glad you take this seriously.
    Has anyone here ever talked to a ghost?’
    About 15 students raise their hand.
    Has anyone here ever touched a ghost?’
    Three students raise their hands.
    That’s fantastic. Now let me ask you one question further…
    Have any of you ever made love to a ghost?’
    Way in the back, Terrence Tony raises his hand.
    The professor takes off his glasses and says: ‘Son, all the years I’ve been giving this lecture, no one has ever claimed to have made love to a ghost. You’ve got to come up here and tell us about your experience.’
    Terrence replied with a nod and a grin,
    and began to make his way up to the podium.
    When he reached the front of the room, the professor asks,
    ‘So,Terrence, tell us what it’s like to have sex with a ghost?’
    “Shit, from way back there I thought you said Goats.

  7. 7 Jeff Nicklus Dec 30th, 2013 at 12:45 pm

    A flat-chested young lady went to Dr. Smith about enlarging her breasts Dr. Smith advised her, ‘Every day after your shower, rub your chest and say, ‘Scooby doobie doobies, I want bigger boobies!’

    She did this faithfully for several months.

    To her utter amazement she grew terrific D-cup boobs!

    One morning she was running late, got on the bus, and in a panic realized she had forgotten her morning ritual.

    Frightened she might lose her lovely boobs if she didn’t recite the little rhyme, she stood up in the middle aisle of the bus, closed her eyes and said, ‘Scooby doobie, doobies, I want bigger boobies!’

    A guy sitting nearby looked at her and asked, ‘Oh! Are you a patient of Dr. Smith’s?’

    ‘Yes I am… How did you know?’

    He winked and replied, ” Hickory dickory dock! ”

    HAPPY NEW YEAR’S EVERYONE!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

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