It was the biker’s first time visiting Dr Putz for a colonoscopy. He went into his office for his first rectal exam. His new blond nurse, Evelyn, took him to an examining room. She told him to get undressed and have a seat until the doctor could see him . She said that he would only be a few minutes. After putting on the gown that she gave him , he sat down.
While waiting he observed there were three items on a stand next to the exam table: A tube of K-Y jelly, A rubber glove and a beer. When Dr. Putz finally came in he said, “Look Doc”, I’m a little confused This is my first exam. I know what the K-Y Jelly is for, And I know what the glove is for. But can you tell me what the BEER is for?”
At that, Doctor Putz became noticeably outraged and stormed over to the door. He flung the door open and yelled to his new blonde nurse, “Damn it, Evelyn !!! I said a BUTT LIGHT!”
I might have posted this before, if I have here it is again.
Barack and Michelle are at the White Sox baseball game, sitting in the first row with the Secret Service seated directly behind them. One of the Secret Service agents leans forward and says something to the President.
Barack stares at the agent, looks at Michelle, looks back at the agent, and shakes his head.
The agent then says “Mr. President, it was a request from the team owner who is a big campaign contributor, and the fans will love it!”
So, Barack shrugs and says “Well, if it will help my poll numbers.”
He gets up, grabs Michelle by her collar and the seat of her pants, and drops her right over the wall into the field.
She gets up kicking, screaming & swearing. The crowd goes wild; cheering, applauding, and high-fiving. Barack is bowing and smiling, and leans over to the agent and says “You were right, I would have never believed that!”
Noticing the agent has gone totally pale, Barack asks what was wrong.
The agent replies “Sir, I said, they want you to throw out the first PITCH!!!”
Biker: “Give me 3 packets of condoms.”
Clerk: “Do you need a paper bag with that, sir?”
Biker: “Nah… this ones actually purty good lookin’…..”
-nicker-
A young biker goes into a drug store to buy some condoms.
The girl behind the counter decides to have some fun with him and asks him what size he uses.
He says, I don’t know my size, so she tells him that there is a fence out back with three holes in it and he should go find the hole that fits best, then come back in and tell her.
So, he goes out to the fence. Meanwhile she goes out the back door and pulls her pants down and presses herself up to the first hole. he sticks it in her and after a few strokes, he blows his wad.
Then he walks back into the store where she’s waiting for him. She asks what size he needs. He tells her to forget about the condoms and give him five foot of that fence out back….!