Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44 - Copy16 reasons why some men have a dog and no wife.

1. The later you are, the more excited your dog is to see you.
2. Dogs don’t notice if you call them by another dog’s name.
3. Dogs like it if you leave things on the floor.
4. Dogs’ parents never visit.
5. Dogs agree that you have to raise your voice to get your point across.
6. You never have to wait for a dog. They’re ready to go, instantly, 24 hours a day.
7. Dogs find you interesting when you’re drunk.
8. Dogs like to go hunting and fishing.
9. Dogs won’t wake you up at night to ask: “If I died, would you get another dog?”
10. If a dog has babies, you can put an ad in the paper and sell them.
11. When you drop a silent one, they enjoy the aroma and don’t run around frantically with room spray.
13. Dogs never tell you to stop scratching your balls. Instead, they sit pondering why you don’t lick them.
14. Dogs will let you put a studded collar on without calling you a pervert.
15. If a dog smells another dog on you, it won’t kick you in the crotch. It just finds it interesting.
16. If a dog runs off and leaves you, it won’t take half your stuff.

To verify these statements, lock your wife and your dog in the garage for an hour. Then open the door, and observe who’s happy to see you!

10 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 fuji Nov 26th, 2014 at 1:02 pm

    Funny, thats no# 1

  2. 2 fuji Nov 26th, 2014 at 1:26 pm

    Grandmothers

    Her soothing hands when I would get hurt.

    Her sage advice.

    At 13, we were sitting in the park enjoying a cookie and a Coke.

    She told me that one-day I would find a wonderful woman and start my own family.

    “Always remember this, she said. “Be sure you marry a woman with small fingers & hands.”

    “How come, Grandma?”

    She smiled and said gently, “Makes your dick look bigger.”

    Grandma was special!

  3. 3 fuji Nov 26th, 2014 at 1:36 pm

    December Statistics On Airport Full Body Screening From TSA :

    Terrorists Discovered: 0

    Transvestites: 133

    Hernias: 1,485

    Hemorrhoid Cases: 3,172

    Enlarged Prostates: 8,249

    Breast Implants: 59,350

    Natural Blondes: 3

    It was also discovered that 308 politicians had no balls.

  4. 4 Jeff Nicklus Nov 26th, 2014 at 3:02 pm

    Sheriff Exam in Texas

    A young Texan grew up wanting to be a lawman. He grew up big, 6′ 2″, strong as a longhorn, and fast as a mustang. He could shoot a bottle cap tossed in the air at 40 paces.

    When he finally came of age, he applied to where he had only dreamed of working: the West Texas Sheriff’s Department. After a series of tests and interviews, the Chief Deputy finally called him into his office for the young man’s last interview. The Chief Deputy said, “You’re a big strong kid and you can really shoot. So far your qualifications all look good, but we have, what you might call, an “Attitude Suitability Test” that you must take before you can be accepted. We just don’t let anyone carry our badge, son.”

    Then, sliding a service pistol and a box of ammo across the desk, the Chief said, “Take this pistol and go out and shoot: six illegal aliens, six lawyers, six meth dealers, six Muslim extremists, six Democrats, and a rabbit.”

    “Why the rabbit?” queried the applicant.

    “You pass!” said the Chief Deputy. “When can you start?”

    I LOVE TEXAS

    Have a great Thanksgiving everyone!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  5. 5 chicagojohn Nov 26th, 2014 at 9:19 pm

    Number 12: Dogs think that you are a culinary genius.

  6. 6 nicker Nov 26th, 2014 at 11:26 pm

    One Dog to Another.

    Rover sees his pal Spot sitting on the front lawn.
    As they drive by Rover sticks his head out the car window and hollers:

    “Ha ha Spot. I’m going to the vets to get Tutored.”

    -nicker-

  7. 7 Boomer Nov 27th, 2014 at 4:27 am

    17. When you come home from the grocery store dogs think you are the best hunter in the world.

  8. 8 bigitch Nov 27th, 2014 at 1:24 pm

    dogs

    the only animal that can take 50 pounds of dog food and turn it into 100 pounds of dog shit.

  9. 9 knucklehead on a panhead Nov 27th, 2014 at 1:31 pm

    Clem and Jim Bob were walking down the street after a day of drinking when they walked up on a Boston Terrier licking his nuts and really getting after it!

    Clem turns to Jim Bob and gives out a chuckle….

    Dang Jim…..

    I sure wish I could do that!

    Jim Bob replies….

    Well Clem…

    I’m thinking you better “pet” him first!

  10. 10 Axel Dec 2nd, 2014 at 2:13 pm

    Actually ,we need to cut Texas loose. After a couple of years without the US teat to suck off of, Mexico will get a taste of its own medicine, what with all the Texans illegally crossing the Mexican border seeking a better life.

Comments are currently closed.

Socialize

Facebook Google+ Twitter