A 65 year old woman had a heart attack and was taken to the hospital. While on the operating table she had a near death experience.. Seeing God, she asked “Is my time up?” God said, “No, you have another 33 years, 2 months and 8 days to live.”
Upon recovery, the woman decided to stay in the hospital and have a face-lift, liposuction, breast implants and a tummy tuck. She even had someone come in and change her hair color and brighten her teeth! Since she had so much more time to live, she figured she might as well make the most of it.
After her last operation, she was released from the hospital. While crossing The street on her way home, she was killed by an ambulance. Arriving in front of God, she demanded, “I thought you said I had another 33 years? Why didn’t you pull me from out of the path of the Ambulance?”
God replied: “Shit, I didn’t recognize you!”
Good One for sure.
What’s the difference between Ignorance and Indifference?
I don’t know and I don’t care…..
The game changer for Sigfried & Roy’s Tiger……………
When he figured out that a leather whip was just so much expired beef-jerkey.
-nicker-
Subject: 4 lady friends
Four friends (Ladies) meet 30 years after school at
reunion…..
One goes to take food while the other 3 start to talk about
how
successful their sons became.
No. 1 says her son studied economics,became a banker and is
so rich, he gave his best friend a Ferrari.
No. 2 said her son became a pilot, started his own airline
and became so rich, he gave his best friend a jet.
No. 3 said her son became an engineer, started his own
development company became so rich, he built his best friend
a castle.
No 4. came back with a plate full of food and asked what the
buzz is
about.
They told her they were talking about how successful their
sons
became and asked her about her son.
She said her son is gay and he works in a Gay Bar.
The other 3 said she must be very disappointed with her son
for not becoming successful.
” Oh no !! ” said the Lady, he is doing good.
” Last week on his birthday he got a Ferrari, a jet and
a castle
from 3 of his boyfriends…” .
All the 3 Ladies fainted ….