Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44 - CopyThere was a midget down in Texas whose testicles hurt and ached almost all the time. The midget went to the doctor and told him about his problem. The doctor told him to drop his pants and he would have a look. The midget dropped his pants. The doctor stood him up onto the examining table, and started to examine him. The doc put one finger under his left testicle and told the midget to turn his head and cough, the usual method to check for a hernia. “Aha!” mumbled the doc and, as he put his finger under the right testicle, he asked the midget to cough again.

“Aha!” said the doctor again, and reached for his surgical scissors. Snip-snip-snip-snip on the right side, then snip-snip-snip-snip on the left side. The midget was so scared he was afraid to look, but noted with amazement that the snipping did not hurt. The doctor then told the midget to walk around the examining room to see if his testicles still hurt.

The midget was absolutely delighted as he walked around and discovered his testicles were no longer aching. The doctor said, “How does that feel now?” The midget replied, “Perfect Doc, and I didn’t even feel it. What did you do?” The doctor replied, “I cut two inches off the top of your cowboy boots.

4 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 Jeff Nicklus Jun 30th, 2015 at 12:37 pm

    And God Created Texas . . .

    God was missing for six days. Eventually, Michael, the archangel, found him, resting on the seventh day.

    He inquired, “Where have you been?”

    God smiled deeply and proudly pointed downwards through the clouds,
    “Look, Michael. Look what I’ve made.”

    Archangel Michael looked puzzled, and said, “What is it?”

    “It’s a planet,” replied God, and I’ve put life on it. I’m going to call it Earth and it’s going to be a place to test Balance.”

    “Balance?” inquired Michael, “I’m still confused.”

    God explained, pointing to different parts of Earth. “For example, northern Europe will be a place of great opportunity and wealth, while southern Europe is going to be poor.
    Over here I’ve placed a continent of white people, and over there is a continent of black people. Balance in all things.”

    God continued pointing to different countries. “This one will be extremely hot, while this one will be very cold and covered in ice.”

    The Archangel, impressed by God’s work, then pointed to a land area and said, “What’s that one?”

    “That’s Texas, the most glorious place on earth. There are beautiful mountains, rivers and streams, lakes, forests, hills, and plains. The people from Texas are going to be handsome, modest, intelligent, humorous, but proud and they are going to travel the world. They will be extremely sociable, hardworking, high achieving, carriers of peace, and producers of good things.”

    Michael gasped in wonder and admiration, but then asked, “But what about balance, God? You said there would be balance.”

    God smiled, “I will create Washington, DC. Wait till you see the fools I put there.”

    Over & Out,


  2. 2 Nathan Jul 1st, 2015 at 7:15 pm

    Many years ago this joke was told to my class by the school headmaster.

    Guy goes to doctor complaining that he isn’t growing and thinks he has a tapeworm inside of him.
    Doctor prescribes him some medicine and sends the guy on his way.

    A month later the guy comes back and says he is sure the tapeworm is still there. So doctor tells the guy to go buy a Mars bar and an ice-cream cone and come back to the office.

    Guy is confused but does as the doctor says.

    Doctor tells guy to pull his pants down and shove the ice-cream cone up his rectum then follow it up with the Mars bar. Doctor then tells the guy to come back in a week but to only bring an ice-cream cone.

    Guy comes back in a week and this time only brings an ice-cream cone. Doctor tells him again to pulls his pants down and shove the ice-cream cone up his rectum. Guy is getting annoyed but does as the doctor orders.

    A few minutes later the head of the tapeworm peeks out of the guy’s rectum and demands ” hey where’s my Mars bar” . The doctor not wasting a second grabs the head and yanks the tapeworm out.

  3. 3 Pop Jul 2nd, 2015 at 6:34 pm

    After much testimony the woman turns to the judge and declares
    “I know it was a Texan your honor.”
    “Ma’am, you just told this court that the rapist attacked you from behind and that you never got a look at him.”
    “Yes sir, that is true. But he had to be a Texan. He had a three inch willy and a six inch belt buckle.”

  4. 4 george Jul 4th, 2015 at 6:38 pm

    And the last one gives us balance

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Cyril Huze