Navy pilot walks into a bar and takes a seat next to a very attractive woman. He gives her a quick glance then casually looks at his new Apple Watch for a moment. The woman notices this and asks, “Is your date running late?”
No,” he replies, “I just got this state-of-the-art Apple watch, and I was just testing it.” The intrigued woman says, “A state-of-the-art watch? What’s so special about it?” The pilot says, “It uses alpha waves to talk to me telepathically.” The lady says, “What’s it telling you now?” Well, it says you’re not wearing any panties.”
The woman giggles and replies, “Well it must be broken because I am wearing panties!” The pilot smirks, taps his watch and says, “Darn thing’s an hour fast.”
And that, my friends………is Confidence!
The graduate with a science degree asks, “Why does it work?”
The graduate with an engineering degree asks, “How does it work?”
The graduate with an accounting degree asks, “How much will it cost?”
The graduate with an ethnic & gender studies degree asks, “Do you want fries with that?”
-nicker-
The Black Bra (as told by a woman)
I had lunch with 2 of my unmarried friends. One is engaged, one is a mistress, and I have been married for 20+ years.
We were chatting about our relationships and decided to amaze our men by greeting them at the door wearing a black bra, stiletto heels and a mask over our eyes. We agreed to meet in a few days to exchange notes.
Here’s how it all went.
My engaged friend :
The other night when my boyfriend came over he found me with a black leather bodice, tall stilettos and a mask. He saw me and said, ‘You are the woman of my dreams…I love you.’ Then we made passionate love all night long.
The mistress:
Me too! The other night I met my lover at his office and I was wearing a raincoat, under it only the black bra, heels and mask over my eyes. When I opened the raincoat he didn’t say a word, but he started to tremble and we had wild sex all night.
Then I had to share my story:
When my husband came home I was wearing the black bra, black stockings, stilettos and a mask over my eyes. When he came in the door and saw me he said:
” What’s for dinner, Zorro”?
Over & Out,
Jeff
When a Guy came home from work his wife met him wearing a mask and a cape and said
“super pussy”
He said :
” I will take the soup”