Joke Of The week

Teachings.

1- Don’t worry; it only seems kinky the first time.
2- If at first you don’t succeed, skydiving is not for you.
3- Never test the depth of the water with both feet.
4- If you tell the truth, you don’t have to remember anything.
5- Experience is something you don’t get until just after you need it.
6- Generally speaking, you aren’t learning much when your lips are moving.
7- There are two excellent theories for arguing with women. Neither one works.
8- If you lend someone $20 and never see that person again, it was probably well worth it.
9- Good judgement comes from bad experience…and most of that comes from bad judgement.
10- Never under any circumstances take a sleeping pill and a laxative on the same night.
11- If you think nobody cares whether you’re alive or dead, try missing a couple of mortgage payments.
12- We are born naked, wet and hungry, and get slapped on our butt, then things just keep getting worse.
13- Give a man a fish and he will eat for a day. Teach him how to fish, and he will sit in a boat and drink beer all day.
14- Before you criticize someone, you should walk a mile in their shoes. That way, when you criticize them, you’re a mile away and you have their shoes.

Zipper's

3 Responses to “Joke Of The week”


  1. 1 Iron Horse Mar 16th, 2017 at 1:36 pm

    All good teachings … I like #8 the best.

  2. 2 bigitch Mar 16th, 2017 at 9:35 pm

    Students at a local college were assigned to read two books,
    “Titanic” and “My Life” by Bill Clinton.

    They were asked to do a book report and contrast the 2 books.

    One student turned in the following book report with the proposition that they were nearly identical stories!

    Titanic: Cost = $29.99
    Clinton : Cost = $29.99

    Titanic: Over 3 hours to read
    Clinton : Over 3 hours to read

    Titanic: The story of Jack and Rose, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe.
    Clinton : The story of Bill and Monica, their forbidden love, and subsequent catastrophe

    Titanic: Jack is a starving artist.
    Clinton : Bill is a bullshit artist.

    Titanic: In one scene, Jack enjoys a good cigar.
    Clinton : Ditto for Bill

    Titanic: During the ordeal, Roses dress gets ruined.
    Clinton : Ditto for Monica’s.

    Titanic: Jack teaches Rose to spit.
    Clinton : Lets not go there.

    Titanic: Rose gets to keep her jewelery.
    Clinton : Monica is forced to return her gifts.

    Titanic: Rose remembers Jack for the rest of her life.
    Clinton : Clinton doesn’t remember anything.

    Titanic: Rose goes down on a vessel full of seamen.
    Clinton : Monica.. Ooh, lets not go there, either.

    Titanic: Jack surrenders to an icy death.
    Clinton : Bill goes home to Hillary; basically the same thing.

    His professor gave him an A+

  3. 3 Bo Mar 17th, 2017 at 9:11 am

    my favorite:
    May all of your interactions with the LAW start with,…NICE HARLEY!

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