Joke Of The Week

United Airlines testing New Slogans

“Drag and Drop.”
“We put the hospital in hospitality”.
“Board as a doctor, leave as a patient”.
“Our prices can’t be beaten, but our passengers can”.
“We have First Class, Business Class and No Class”.
“Not enough seating, prepare for a beating”.
“We treat you like we treat your luggage”.
“We beat the customer.  Never the competition”.
“And you thought leg room was an issue”.
“Where voluntary is mandatory.”
“Fight or flight. We decide.”
“Now offering one free carry off”.
“Beating random customers since 2017.”
“If our staff needs a seat, we’ll drag you out by your feet.”
“A bloody good airline”

Zipper's

6 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 Chuck C. Apr 27th, 2017 at 9:25 am

    you can not fix stupid women with baby carriage stupid, the man could of just got off, a man that cant hold his piss for 30 minutes? fallow the rules.

  2. 2 Tom Ryan Apr 27th, 2017 at 11:34 am

    A lady walks into a drug store and tells the pharmacist she needs some cyanide. The pharmacist said, “Why in the world do you need cyanide?” The lady then explained she needed it to poison her husband. The pharmacist’s eyes got real big and he said, “Lord have mercy, I can’t give you cyanide to kill your husband! That’s against the law! I’ll lose my license, they’ll throw the both of us in jail and all kinds of bad things will happen! Absolutely not, you CANNOT have any cyanide!”
    Then the lady reached into her purse and pulled out a picture of her husband in bed with the pharmacist’s wife. The pharmacist looked at the picture and replied, “Well now, you didn’t tell me you had a prescription!”

    ###############################

    A small boy was lost at a large shopping mall. He approached a uniformed policeman and said, “I’ve lost my grandpa!”

    The cop asked, What’s he like?”

    The little boy replied, “Crown Royal and a woman with big tits.”

    ###############################

    THE 7 MOST IMPORTANT MEN IN A WOMAN’S LIFE

    1 – THE DOCTOR because he says, “Take your clothes off.”

    2 – THE DENTIST because he says, “Open wide.”

    3 – THE HAIRDRESSER because he says, “Do you want it teased or blown?”

    4 – THE MILKMAN because he says, “Do you want it in the front or back?”

    5 – THE INTERIOR DECORATOR because he says, “Once it’s in, you’ll love it.”

    6 – THE BANKER because he says, “If you take it out too soon, you’ll lose interest.”

    7 – THE HUNTER because he always goes in deep in the bush, he shoots twice, and he always eats what he shoots.”

  3. 3 rebel Apr 28th, 2017 at 12:12 pm

    the guy deserved his “beating”

  4. 4 Boomer Apr 28th, 2017 at 11:19 pm

    A real man would have gotten off the plane without having to be forced off. A real man would not squeal like a little girl like he did either. He made the decision to be difficult and possibly have a lawsuit if things went well, which they did, for him at least. He did overdo it though and busted a tooth or two. He needs to practice his fake beatings more for next time.

    Lastly; he asked to be dragged off so the security people obliged him. Where’s the crime in that besides his crime of keeping the plane from taking off by not cooperating?

  5. 5 Kenny Price May 1st, 2017 at 12:22 pm

    If the airline offered enough money to passengers PRIOR to boarding I’m sure they would have had plenty of people willing to give up a seat. I don’t care if the guy squealed like a little girl. He had an assigned seat prior to boarding, boarded, and was quickly beaten, literally, out of his flight.

  6. 6 Rodney Best May 8th, 2017 at 8:28 am

    I fly occasionally on business. I was flying into a new city had never visited, was planning travel in a day early so I could sight see a bit. Flight was over booked, and I made what will be about $450 after taxes I guess, have not checked to see if this is taxable income but I think it is. I got nice hotel near airport, nice dinner and red eye flight out next morning. Still had time to sight see a bit. Now I admit, most times I do not want to be bumped, this time was a nice bonus.

    Rod

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