Jokes Of The Week

1. Law of Mechanical Repair
After your hands become coated with grease, your nose will begin to itch and you’ll have to pee.
2. Law of Gravity
Any tool, nut, bolt, screw, when dropped, will roll to the least accessible place in the universe.
3. Law of Probability
The probability of being watched is directly proportional to the stupidity of your act.

4. Law of Random Numbers
If you dial a wrong number, you never get a busy signal; someone always answers.

5. Variation Law
If you change lines (or traffic lanes), the one you were in will always move faster than the one you are in now.
6. Law of the Bath
When the body is fully immersed in water, the telephone will ring.
7. Law of Close Encounters
The probability of meeting someone you know INCREASES dramatically when you are with someone you don’t want to be seen with.
8. Law of the Result
When you try to prove to someone that a machine won’t work, IT WILL!!!
9. Law of the Theaters & Sports Arenas – At any event, the people whose seats are furthest from the aisle, always arrive last. They are the ones who will leave their seats several times to go for food, beer, or the toilet and who leave early before the end of the performance or the game is over. The folks in the aisle seats come early, never move once, have long gangly legs or big bellies and stay to the bitter end of the performance. The aisle people also are very surly folk.
10. The Coffee Law
As soon as you sit down to a cup of hot coffee, your boss will ask you to do something which will last until the coffee is cold
11. Law of Logical Argument
Anything is possible IF you don’t know what you are talking about.
12. Doctors’ Law
If you don’t feel well, make an appointment to go to the doctor, by the time you get there, you’ll feel better. But don’t make an appointment and you’ll stay sick.

Zipper's

4 Responses to “Jokes Of The Week”


  1. 1 InsideLine Sep 6th, 2017 at 8:29 am

    Law of animation – Despite all the evidence to the contrary inanimate objects grow legs when placed down walking long distances to hard to find places especially glasses , car keys , pens and guitar picks

    Law of car /motorcycle washing – Wash it and it’ll rain or a bird will defecate on it within hours . Leave it dirty and nary a cloud will be seen with the birds avoiding it like the plague

  2. 2 Gym Sep 7th, 2017 at 10:48 am

    Law of missing items- Any item that can’t be found in 5 minutes has been moved or thrown away by your wife who will be afflicted by the law of instant amnesia.

  3. 3 Bill Sep 7th, 2017 at 4:35 pm

    Law of Productivity – Anything is possible to the person who can delegate.

  4. 4 brad ervin Sep 7th, 2017 at 7:31 pm

    A kick start bike will only start on the first kick if you are alone.
    It’s always the most expensive part that breaks.
    Nothing useless ever vibrates loose.
    The last bolt will never come out.
    Everything ran the last time it was parked.
    The only way to find a needle in a haystack is to stick your bare foot into it.
    The best way to find the perfect wife is…wait, there isn’t one.
    Whichever wrench is missing is the one you need the most.
    The think you are looking for is always hidden under the things you aren’t looking for.
    There are two kinds of idiots, the ones that think they can do anything and the kind that can’t think of anything to do….wait, they’re the same idiot.

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