Story Of The Week. How Old Do You Look Now?

Have you ever been guilty of looking at and comparing yourself to others your own age? Well you will love this one…

“My name is Alice, and I was sitting in the waiting room for my first appointment with a new dentist. I noticed his DDS diploma on the wall which bore his full name. Suddenly I remembered a tall, handsome, dark haired boy with the same name in my high school class some 30 years ago. Could it be the same guy I had a secret crush on, way back then? However, upon seeing him I quickly discarded any such thought.

This balding, gray haired man with deeply lined face was way too old to have been my classmate. After he examined my teeth, I asked him if he had attended Morgan Park High School? “Yes, yes I did, he gleamed with pride.” When did you graduate? I asked. He answered “In 1975? Why do you ask?” You were in my class! I exclaimed. He looked at me closely. Then, that ugly, old, almost bald, wrinkled faced, fat assed, decrepit, SOB asked me. “What did you teach?”  (Sent By Troy)

Zipper's

11 Responses to “Story Of The Week. How Old Do You Look Now?”


  1. 1 Pepper Apr 10th, 2010 at 10:48 am

    No he did not!

  2. 2 fuji Apr 10th, 2010 at 7:13 pm

    The Deaf Bookkeeper
    >
    >
    > A Mafia Godfather finds out that his bookkeeper, Enzo, has cheated him out of 10 million bucks. His bookkeeper is deaf. That was the reason he got the job in the first place. It was assumed that Enzo would hear nothing that he might have to testify about in court.
    >
    >
    When the Godfather goes to confront Enzo about his missing $10 million, he takes along his lawyer who knows sign language.
    >
    > The Godfather tells the lawyer, “Ask him where the 10 million bucks is that he embezzled from me.”
    >
    > The lawyer, using sign language, asks Enzo where the money is.
    >
    > Enzo signs back, “I don’t know what you are talking about.”
    >
    > The lawyer tells the Godfather, “He says he doesn’t know what you are talking about.”
    >
    > The Godfather pulls out a pistol, puts it to Enzo’s temple and says, “Ask him again!”
    >
    > The lawyer signs to Enzo, “He’ll kill you if you don’t tell him.”
    >
    > Enzo signs back, “OK. You win! The money is in a brown briefcase, buried behind the shed in my cousin Bruno’s backyard in Woodbridge !”
    >
    >
    > The Godfather asks the lawyer, “What did he say?”
    >
    >
    > The lawyer replies, ” He says you don’t have the guts to pull the trigger.”

  3. 3 burnout Apr 11th, 2010 at 9:00 am

    I am 46 yrs old. Yesterday I was told I look like Willie Nelson…………who is 73! Apologies to Willie. peace

  4. 4 grayhawk Apr 11th, 2010 at 9:26 am

    Could have been a compliment burnout or not, some say Willie looked like Buddy Holly with the short hair and black rim glasses in his earlier years, ha. By the way what did Willie say on his last birthday?

  5. 5 Fredp Apr 11th, 2010 at 1:16 pm

    A man comes home from work and finds his wife admiring her breasts in the mirror.

    He asks, “What are you doing?”

    She replies, “I went to the doctor today, and he told me that I have the breasts of a 25 year old.

    The husband retorts, “Well, what did he say about your 50 year old ass?”

    She replies, “Frankly dear, your name never came up.” ( the women always have the final answer!!!)

  6. 6 burnout Apr 11th, 2010 at 9:20 pm

    grayhawk, Not sure what Willie said on his last birthday but he says EVERY DAY is his birthday. This past November Jody Payne told me that he and Willie are the same age. I asked what age and he said “73 I think” peace

  7. 7 grayhawk Apr 11th, 2010 at 9:37 pm

    Believe he was born in 33 so he’s in that range, he said he finally has outlived his pecker. They say reefer madness may cause that if ya partake,ha.

  8. 8 burnout Apr 11th, 2010 at 10:36 pm

    aah haha

  9. 9 Jeff & Robbie Apr 12th, 2010 at 1:38 pm

    A hooded armed robber bursts into the Bank of Italy and forces the 
    tellers to load a sack full of cash.
     
    On his way out the door with the loot, one brave Italian customer grabs 
    the hood and pulls it off revealing the robber’s face.
     
    The robber shoots the guy in the head without hesitation! He then looks 
    around the bank to see if anyone else has seen him.
     
    One of the tellers is looking straight at him. The robber walks over 
    and calmly shoots him in the head.
     
    Everyone by now is very scared and looking down at the floor.
     
    “Dida anyone elsa see a my face?” calls the robber.
     
    There follows a tense silence. Then an elderly Italian gent, looking 
    down, tentatively raises his hand and says:
     
    “I tinka my wifa may have caughta glimpse.”

  10. 10 fuji Apr 14th, 2010 at 7:22 am

    The Buttocks
    A married couple was in a terrible accident where the
    Man’s face was severely burned.

    The doctor told the Husband that they

    couldn’t graft any skin from his body

    Because he was too skinny. So the wife offered to donate

    Some of her own skin. However, the only skin on her body

    That the doctor felt was suitable would have to come

    from her buttocks. The husband and wife agreed that they

    would tell no one about where the skin came from, and they

    requested that the doctor also honor their secret. After

    All, this was a very delicate matter. After the surgery was

    completed, everyone was astounded at the man’s new face.

    He looked more handsome than he ever had before! All his

    Friends and relatives just went on and on about his youthful beauty!

    One day, he was alone with his wife, and he was

    overcome with emotion at her sacrifice. He said, ‘Dear,

    I just want to thank you for everything you did for me.

    How can I possibly repay you?’

    ‘My darling,’ she replied,

    ‘I get all the thanks I need every time I see your mother

    kiss you on the cheek.’

  11. 11 Amy Apr 18th, 2010 at 1:00 pm

    aah haha

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