A man and his wife were spending the day at the zoo. She was wearing a loose fitting, pink dress, sleeveless with straps…He was wearing his usual jeans and T-shirt. As they walked through the ape exhibit, they passed in front of a large gorilla. Noticing the wife, the gorilla went crazy. He jumped on the bars, and holding on with one hand and two feet he grunted and pounded his chest with his free hand. He was obviously excited at the pretty lady in the pink dress.
The husband, noticing the excitement, thought this was funny. He suggested that his wife tease the poor fellow some more by puckering her lips and wiggling her bottom. She played along and the gorilla got even more excited, making noises that would wake the dead.
Then the husband suggested that she let one of her straps fall to show a little more skin. She did… and the gorilla was about to tear the bars down. “Now….. show your thighs and sort of fan your dress at him,” he said. This drove the gorilla absolutely crazy and he started doing flips. Then the husband grabbed his wife, ripped open the door to the cage, flung her in with the gorilla and slammed the cage door shut. “Now. Tell him you have a headache
Thats funny
Woman shot in the head
Linda Burnett, 23, a resident of San Diego, was visiting her in-laws and
while there went to a nearby supermarket to pick up some groceries.
Later, her husband noticed her sitting in her car in the driveway with the windows rolled
up and with her eyes closed, with both hands behind the back of her head.
He became concerned and walked over to the car.
He noticed that Linda’s eyes were now open and she looked very strange.
He asked her if she was okay, and Linda replied that she had been shot in the back of the head and had been holding her brains in for over an hour.
The husband called the paramedics, who broke into the car because the doors were locked and Linda refused to remove her hands from her head.
When they finally got in, they found that Linda had a wad of bread dough on the
back of her head.
A Pillsbury biscuit canister had exploded from the heat, making a loud noise that sounded like a gunshot, and the wad of dough hit her in the back of her head.
When she reached back to find out what it was, she felt the dough and thought it was her brains. She initially passed out, but quickly recovered.
Linda is blonde, a Democrat and an Obama supporter, but that could all be a coincidence.
A young Arab asks his father:
What is this weird hat that we are wearing ?
It’s a “chechia” because in the desert it protects our heads from the sun !
And what is this type of robed clothing that we are wearing ?
It’s a “djbellah” because in the desert it is very hot and it protects your body !
And what are these ugly shoe type sandals that we have on our feet ?
These are “babouches”, which keep us from burning our feet when in the desert !
Tell me, papa…
Yes, my son ?
Why are we living in Brooklyn and still wearing all this shit ?
Over & Out,
Jeff
Jeff; Is the answer to his question. They wear that shit in Brooklyn because that is were their quicky mart is located?
Jeff I want to purchase your book! Don’t leave me hangin! peace
Boudreaux gets a job with BP to help with the oil clean up.
When he shows up for work the first day he asks the supervisor what he is to do.
The super tells him to go to a small building a short distance away and clean the
pelicans.
About an hour later Boudreaux returns to the supervisor, “I dun didt dat job cleaning
da pelicans. Does you want I should boil some rice now?”
A Taliban commander was sitting in a cave when he hears over a dune the voice of one American solider:
“One American soldier is better then 10 Taliban fighters” ….. so the Taliban angry sent over ten of his high-ranking soldiers.
After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again:
“One American solider is better then 100 Taliban fighters” … so the Taliban sends over 100 of his highest ranked soldiers sure of victory.
After a lot of gun fire and yelling and screams of agony the Taliban heard the voice again:
“One American solider is better then 1000 Taliban fighters” … so the Taliban sent his toughest, meanest, personal guards over the dune.
After hundreds of bullets fired, and explosions and the screaming and crying, it was over. The Taliban now wondering what happened goes over the dune where he finds a wounded Taliban solider who says:
“Don’t send anymore men it’s really a trap there is really two of them!”…………..
Over & Out,
Jeff
Interesting piece of history.
In 1872 the Arabs invented the condom, using a goat’s lower intestine.
In 1873 the British somewhat refined the idea by taking the intestine out of the goat first.
Over & Out,
Jeff
LMAO!
lmao go jeff