Medical Jokes Of The Week

1- All drugs have two names, a trade name and a generic name. Examples: Tylenol is the trade name for generic name Acetaminophen. Aleve is also called Naproxen. Amoxil is also called Amoxicillin and Advil is also called Ibuprofen.

The FDA has been looking for a generic name for Viagra. After careful consideration by a team of government experts, it recently announced that it has settled on the generic name of Mycoxafloppin. Also considered were Mycoxafailin, Mydixadrupin, Mydixarizin, Dixafix, and of course, Ibepokin… 

2- Pfizer Corp. announced today that Viagra will soon be available in liquid form, and will be marketed by Pepsi Cola as a power beverage suitable for use as a mixer. It will now be possible for a man to literally pour himself a stiff one. Obviously we can no longer call this a soft drink, and it gives new meaning to the names of ‘cocktails’, ‘highballs’ and just a good old-fashioned ‘stiff drink’. Pepsi will market the new concoction by the name of: MOUNT & DO.     

3- Thought of the day: There is more money being spent today on breast implants and Viagra than on Alzheimer’s research. This means that by 2020, there should be a large elderly population with perky boobs and huge erections and absolutely no recollection of what to do with them.

Zipper's

10 Responses to “Medical Jokes Of The Week”


  1. 1 Woody Nov 20th, 2010 at 5:01 pm

    I’ve always chuckled at “Mydixadryll” for a trade name.

  2. 2 Harrie Kuben Nov 21st, 2010 at 4:18 am

    Why not call it Mixomatosis?

  3. 3 Wiz Nov 22nd, 2010 at 5:06 am

    I got a true medical joke for ya. My brother-in-law is a retired doctor in Denver an’ he had another doctor tell him that for prostrate exams he had a rubber glove filled with sand that he would place on the patients shoulder an’ his hand on the other. When he slipped his finger in you know where the patient would do the math and yell “HEY, WHAT THE HELL IS GOING ON HERE!!” YUK-YUK!!! Wiz

  4. 4 fuji Nov 22nd, 2010 at 1:36 pm

    The young doctor was carrying out research into Coal Miners Pneumoconiosis (“Coal Dust Disease”), which gradually destroys the lungs.

    He was visiting the Miners Social Clubs, interviewing ex-miners with the disease. In any research involving the lungs it is essential to know whether the person is exposed to tobacco smoke – his own or other peoples.

    “So, John, are you still smoking?”

    “I am,” replied John.

    “Don’t you know how bad smoking is for the lungs, especially for someone like you with “the dust”?”

    “Certainly, doctor, but it’s only smoking that keeps my wife alive!”

    “How do you mean?” asked the doctor, clearly very puzzled.

    “Well, if I gave up smoking I’d murder the bitch!”

  5. 5 fuji Nov 22nd, 2010 at 9:46 pm

    I think this is a medical joke. It is sick

    Deaf Sex

    Two deaf people get married and during the first week of marriage they find that they are unable to communicate in the bedroom with the lights out since they can’t see each other signing, or read lips. After several nights of fumbling around and many misunderstandings, the wife figures out a solution.

    She writes a note to her husband: ‘Honey, Why don’t we agree on some simple signals? For instance, at night, if you want to have sex with me, reach over and squeeze my left breast one time. If you don’t want to have sex, reach over and squeeze my right breast two times..

    The husband thinks this is a great idea. He writes back to his wife That if she wants to have sex with him, reach over and pull on his penis one time. If she doesn’t want to have sex, pull on his penis two hundred and fifty times.

    Yes that is sick

  6. 6 Rick Nov 22nd, 2010 at 11:07 pm

    Good one, Fuji.

  7. 7 madpuppy Nov 23rd, 2010 at 1:06 pm

    Hey Fuji, Wheres the “sick” part ?

  8. 8 fuji Nov 23rd, 2010 at 2:22 pm

    madpuppy .

    For you it wouldn’t be sick.

  9. 9 fuji Nov 24th, 2010 at 4:25 pm

    Mental health

    Recently I received a parrot as a gift.

    The parrot had a bad attitude and an even worse vocabulary.
    Every word out of the bird’s mouth was rude, obnoxious and laced with profanity.

    I tried and tried to change the bird’s attitude by consistently
    saying only polite words, playing soft music and anything else I could
    think of to “clean up” the bird’s vocabulary.

    Finally, I was fed up and I yelled at the parrot.

    The parrot yelled back.

    I shook the parrot and the parrot got angrier and even more rude.

    So, in desperation, I threw up my hands, grabbed the bird and
    put him in the freezer.

    For a few minutes the parrot squawked and kicked and screamed.

    Then suddenly there was total quiet. Not a peep was heard for over a minute.

    Fearing that I’d hurt the parrot, I quickly opened the door to the freezer.

    The parrot calmly stepped out onto my outstretched arms and said

    “I believe I may have offended you with my rude language and
    action s.

    I’m sincerely remorseful for my inappropriate transgressions and
    I fully intend to do everything I can to correct my rude and
    unforgivable behavior.”

    I was stunned at the change in the bird’s attitude.

    As I was about to ask the parrot what had made such a dramatic change in his behavior, the bird continued,

    “May I ask what the turkey did?”

    HAPPY THANKSGIVING!

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