Joke Of The Week

You both love and hate your computer. (of course hate it much more if you use a PC instead of a Mac.) For  all of you who feel only the deepest love and affection for the way your PC computer has enhanced your life, read on…

At  a recent Computer Expo (COMDEX), Bill Gates  reportedly compared the computer industry with  the auto industry and stated: “If Ford  had kept up with technology like the computer industry has, we would all be driving $25 cars that got 1,000 miles to the gallon.” In  response to Bill’s comments, Ford issued a press  release stating: If  Ford had developed technology like Microsoft, we  would all be driving cars with the following  characteristics:  

1. For no reason whatsoever, your car  would crash………Twice a day. 2. Every time they repainted the lines in the road, you would have to buy a new car. 3. Occasionally your car would die on the freeway  for no reason. You would have to pull to the side of the road, close all of the windows, shut off the car, restart it, and reopen the windows before you could continue. For some reason you  would simply accept this. 4. Occasionally, executing a maneuver such as a left turn would cause your car to shut down and  refuse to restart, in which case you would have to reinstall the engine. 5- Macintosh would make a car that was powered by  the sun, was reliable, five times as fast and  twice as easy to drive – but would run on only  five percent of the roads. 6. The oil,  water temperature, and alternator warning lights  would all be replaced by a single ‘This Car Has Performed An Illegal Operation’ warning  light. 7. The airbag system would ask ‘Are you sure?’  before deploying. 8. Occasionally, for  no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you  simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna. 9. Every time a new car was introduced car buyers would have to learn how to drive all over again  because none of the controls would operate in  the same manner as the old car. 10. You’d have to press the ‘Start’ button to turn the engine off.

I ‘d like to add that when all else fails with your PC, you  could call “customer service” in some foreign  country and be instructed in some foreign language how to fix your car  yourself!

And if you wonder, my Blog is created on a MacBook Pro from Apple.

14 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”

  1. 1 Mark Pavlica Sep 21st, 2011 at 9:07 am

    That’s friggin great

  2. 2 Ken Glenn Sep 21st, 2011 at 9:45 am

    If you are in India and you call customer service does an American answer?

  3. 3 Ken Glenn Sep 21st, 2011 at 9:58 am

    I heard this was a true story.
    Bill Gates was introducing a voice recognition program on the Mac. As he spoke, every word he said appeared on the computer screen. He would say ” open email ” and the program would open. He would tell the computer to do this and that and the computer would do what he asked. He then asked the audience if they had questions. A young man in the front row stood up and said loudly “C drive, format, return”.
    Only the Geeks will get it.

  4. 4 burnout Sep 21st, 2011 at 10:16 am

    Three old women were sitting on the front porch of the old folks home discussing the greatest men who ever lived. First one says”Thomas Edison, greatest man ever lived. Invented the light bulb so we don’t have to sit in the dark.” Second woman “Eli Whitney invented that cotton gin, revolutionized industry like no other. Great man.” Third old lady, with a dip of snuff behind her bottom lip, spits and says ” Levi Garrett was no fool!!!” peace

  5. 5 CafeSportyTC Sep 21st, 2011 at 10:46 am

    ford forgets there was once a car like that , FIAT

  6. 6 Toby Sep 21st, 2011 at 11:16 am

    Funny considering the issues that Ford is having with the SYNC entertainment and information system which is powered by Microsoft. There is probably more to this sniping than meets the eye.

  7. 7 zyon Sep 21st, 2011 at 1:57 pm

    Ken, why would Bill gates introduce anything on a Mac? Seriously! Steve Jobs may have just left Apple but I don’t think BG took over…

  8. 8 Kustoms and Choppers Sep 21st, 2011 at 4:43 pm

    Thats great lol!

  9. 9 1550tc Sep 21st, 2011 at 10:48 pm

    Toby that sounds like its headed the same way as the ford and firestone tire issues

  10. 10 Jeff Nicklus Sep 22nd, 2011 at 10:11 am

    A woman was shopping at her local supermarket where she selected a quart of 2% milk, a carton of eggs, a quart of orange juice, a head of romaine lettuce, a 2 lb. can of coffee, and a 1 lb. package of bacon.

    As she was unloading her items on the conveyor belt to check out, a drunk standing behind her watched as she placed the items in front of the cashier. He said, “You must be single.”

    The woman, a bit startled but intrigued by the derelict’s intuition, looked at her six items on the belt. Seeing nothing particularly unusual about her selections she said, “Well, you know what, you’re absolutely correct, but how on earth did you know that?”

    The drunk replied, “‘Cause you’re ugly.”

    OK, don’t blame me I am just the messenger!!!!!!!!!!!!!

    Over & Out,


  11. 11 art Sep 22nd, 2011 at 3:18 pm

    A few years old.

  12. 12 Larry Kennedy Sep 22nd, 2011 at 9:08 pm

    Hmmm, to turn off my car, I have to push the big, red Start button. Seriously.

  13. 13 bigitch Sep 22nd, 2011 at 11:06 pm

    a motorcycle blog talking about… cars! Hmmmmmmmmmm

  14. 14 AK Sep 29th, 2011 at 4:21 am

    “8. Occasionally, for no reason whatsoever, your car would lock you out and refuse to let you in until you simultaneously lifted the door handle, turned the key and grabbed hold of the radio antenna.”

    My father’s VW Passat did that to my parents when they were in Switzerland. It locked them out. They couldn’t get in anymore. The local VW mechanic had to open the trunk and crawl into the front seat from there.

    But I think I’ve actually heard similar ones. By the way, Apples aren’t so much superior to PCs anymore. My PC can destroy any Mac in benchmarks. Why? Because PCs allow you to upgrade and self-build. Macs don’t. And ever checked the hardware you get with your Mac? Overprized. I kid you not. Apple makes good money off gullible people who aren’t really computer savvy. Cause, if you are comp savvy, you’ll build your own. And save plenty of money that way while creating a monster that can destroy any off the shelves machine.

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Cyril Huze