Joke Of The Week

An man in Florida owned a large farm for several years. He had a large pond in the back. It was properly shaped for swimming, so he fixed it up nice with picnic tables, horseshoe courts and some orange and grapefruit trees.

One evening the old farmer decided to go down to the pond, as he hadn’t been there for a while and look it over. He grabbed a five-gallon bucket to bring back some fruit. As he neared the pond, he heard voices shouting and laughing with glee. As he came closer, he saw it was a bunch of young women skinny-dipping in his pond. He made the women aware of his presence and they all went to the deep end.

One of the women shouted to him, ‘we’re not coming out until you leave!’ The old man frowned, ‘I didn’t come down here to watch you ladies swim naked or make you get out of the pond naked.’ Holding the bucket up he said, ‘I’m here to feed the alligator…’ Some men can still think fast… (sent by Dale Dutcher)

Zipper's

4 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 raging bull Jul 5th, 2012 at 9:13 am

    Donation

    Father O’Malley answers his telephone.

    ‘Hello, Is this Father O’Malley?’

    ‘It is!’

    ‘This is the IRS. Can you help us?’

    ‘I can!’ ‘

    Do you know a Ted Houlihan?’

    ‘I do!’

    ‘Is he a member of your congregation?’

    ‘He is!’

    ‘Did he recently donate $10,000 to the church?’

    ‘He will.’

  2. 2 bigitch Jul 5th, 2012 at 2:49 pm

    AHighway Patrol officer stops a Harley for traveling faster than the posted speed limit, so he asks the biker his name. ‘Fred,’ he replies.

    ‘Fred what?’ the officer asks.

    ‘Just Fred,’ the man responds.

    The officer is in a good mood, thinks he might just give the biker a break, and writes him out a warning instead of a ticket. The officer then presses him for the last name. The man tells him that he used to have a last name but lost it. The officer thinks that he has a nut case on his hands but plays along with it.

    ‘Tell me, Fred, how did you lose your last name?’

    The biker replies, ‘It’s a long story, so stay with me. I was born Fred Johnson. I studied hard and got good grades. When I got older, I realized that I wanted to be a doctor. I went through college, medical school, internship, residency, and finally got my degree, so I was Fred Johnson, MD. After a while I got bored being a doctor, so I decided to go back to school. Dentistry was my dream! Got all the way through School, got my degree, so then I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS. Got bored doing dentistry, so I started fooling around with my assistant and she gave me VD, so now I was Fred Johnson, MD, DDS, with VD. Well, the ADA found out about the VD, so they took away my DDS. Then I was Fred Johnson, MD, with VD. Then the AMA found out about the ADA taking away my DDS because of the VD, so they took away my MD leaving me as Fred Johnson with VD. Then the VD took away my Johnson, so now I am Just Fred.’

    The officer walked away.

  3. 3 Olive oil Jul 6th, 2012 at 1:22 pm

    Two young businessmen in Florida were sitting down for a break in their soon-to-be new store in the shopping mall. As yet, the store wasn’t ready, with only a few shelves and display racks set up.

    One said to the other, “I’ll bet that any minute now some senior is going to walk by, put his face to the window, and ask what we’re selling.”

    Sure enough, just a moment later, a curious senior gentleman walked up to the window, looked around intensely and rapped on the glass, then in a loud voice asked, “What are you sellin’ here?”

    One of the men replied sarcastically, “We’re selling ass-holes.”

    Without skipping a beat, the old timer said, “You must be doing well. Only two left.”

  4. 4 drew Jul 10th, 2012 at 8:23 am

    What yellow black and screams

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