Joke Of The Week. Always Choose A Memorable Password.

cyril-huze-joke44A lady helps her husband install a new computer. Once it is completed, she tells him to select a password, selecting a word that he’ll always remember.

As the computer asks him to enter it, he looks at his wife and with a macho gesture and a wink in his eye. He selects a word: mypenis.

As he hits “enter”, to validate the selection, his wife collapses with laughter and rolls on the floor in hysteria!!  The computer had replied: TOO SHORT- ACCESS DENIED!

6 Responses to “Joke Of The Week. Always Choose A Memorable Password.”

  1. 1 USAYGO Apr 24th, 2013 at 10:04 am

    Best friends graduating from medical school at the same time decided that in spite of two different specialties, they would open a practice together to share office space and personnel.

    Dr. Smith was the psychiatrist and Dr. Jones was the proctologist; they put up a sign reading: Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones: Hysterias and Posteriors.

    The town council was livid and insisted they change it.

    The docs changed it to read: Schizoids and Hemorrhoids.

    This was also not acceptable so they again changed the sign to read Catatonics and High Colonics – no go.

    Next they tried Manic Depressives and Anal Retentives – thumbs down again.

    Then came Minds and Behinds – still no good. Another attempt resulted in Lost Souls and Butt Holes – unacceptable again!

    So they tried Nuts and Butts – no way. Freaks and Cheeks – still no good. Loons and Moons – forget it. Almost at their wit’s end, the docs finally came up with:

    Dr. Smith and Dr. Jones – Specializing in Odds and Ends.

  2. 2 fuji Apr 24th, 2013 at 11:08 am

    What do you call female viagra? jewelry

    “I think we should go dutch” a women told her date.

    “you pay for dinner and a movie, and
    the rest of the night can be on me.”

  3. 3 Joshua Apr 24th, 2013 at 12:23 pm

    Ha, ha, ha.

  4. 4 Olive Oil Apr 25th, 2013 at 1:11 pm

    Sixty is the worst age to be,” said the 60-year-old man.
    “You always feel like you have to pee, and most of the time
    you stand there and nothing comes out.”

    “Ah, that’s nothin,” said the 70-year-old. “When you’re seventy,
    you don’t have bowel movement any more. You take laxatives, eat
    bran, sit on the toilet all day and nothin’ comes out!”

    “Actually,” said the 80-year -old, “Eighty is the worst age of all.”

    “Do you have trouble peeing, too?” asked the 60-year old.

    “No, I pee every morning at 6:00. I pee like a racehorse on a
    flat rock — no problem at all.”

    “So, do you have a problem with your bowel movement?”

    “No, I have one every morning at 6:30.”

    Exasperated, the 60-year-old said, “You pee every morning
    at 6:00 and crap every morning at 6:30. So what’s so bad about
    being 80?”

    “I don’t wake up until 7:00.”

  5. 5 Olive Oil Apr 25th, 2013 at 1:12 pm

    An old Marine Pilot sat down at the Starbucks, still wearing his
    old USMC flight suit and leather jacket and ordered a cup of a coffee.
    As he sat sipping his coffee, a young woman sat down next to him.
    She turned to the pilot and asked, Are you a real pilot?
    He replied, ‘Well, I’ve spent my whole life flying planes, first Stearmans,
    then the early Grummans… Flew a Wildcat and Corsair in WWII,
    and later in the Korean conflict, Banshees and Cougars.
    I’ve taught more than 260 people to fly and given rides to hundreds,
    so I guess I am a pilot, and you, what are you?
    She said, ‘I’m a lesbian. I spend my whole day thinking about
    naked women. As soon as I get up in the morning, I think about
    naked women. When I shower, I think about naked women. When
    I watch TV, I think about naked women. It seems everything
    makes me think of naked women..’
    The two sat sipping in silence.
    A little while later, a young man sat down on the other side of the
    old pilot and asked: “are you a real pilot?”
    He replied, ‘I always thought I was, but I just found out I’m a lesbian..’

  6. 6 Olive Oil Apr 25th, 2013 at 1:13 pm

    A woman walks into an accountant’s office and tells
    him that she needs to file her taxes.

    The accountant says, “Before we begin, I’ll need to
    ask you a few questions. “He gets her name, address,
    Social Security number, etc. And then asks, “What’s
    your occupation?”

    “I’m a Lady of the night,” she says.

    The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, ” Let’s try to rephrase that.”

    The woman says, “OK, I’m a high-end call girl”.

    “No, that still won’t work. Try again.”

    They both think for a minute; then the woman says, “I’m an elite chicken farmer.”

    The accountant asks, “What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?”

    “Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year.”

    “Chicken Farmer it is.”

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Cyril Huze