Joke Of The Week

cyril-huze-joke44This is something to think about when negative people are doing their best to rain on your parade. So remember this story the next time someone who knows nothing and cares less tries to make your life miserable.

A  woman was at her hairdresser’ s getting her hair styled for a trip to   Rome with her husband..  She  mentioned the trip to the hairdresser, who responded: “Rome ? Why would anyone want to go there? It’s crowded and dirty.. You’re crazy to  go to Rome  . So, how are you getting there?” “We’re taking Continental, ” was the reply. “We got a great rate!” “Continental? ” exclaimed the hairdresser. ” That’s a terrible airline. Their planes are old, their flight attendants are ugly, and they’re always late. So, where are you staying in Rome  ?” “We’ll be at this exclusive little place over on   Rome ‘s Tiber   River called Teste.” “Don’t  go any further. I know that place.  Everybody thinks its gonna be something special and exclusive, but it’s really a dump.” “We’re going to go to see the Vatican and maybe get to see the Pope.” 
”That’s rich,” laughed the hairdresser. You and a million other people trying to see him.  He’ll look the size of an ant.   Boy, good luck on this lousy trip of yours. You’re going to need it.”

A  month later, the woman again came in for a hairdo. The hairdresser asked her about her trip to Rome . “It was wonderful,” explained the woman, “not only were we on time in one of Continental’ s brand new planes, but it was overbooked, and they bumped us up to first class. The food and wine were wonderful, and I had a handsome 28-year-old steward who waited on me hand and foot. And the hotel was great! They’d just finished a $5 million remodeling job, and now it’s a jewel, the finest hotel in the city. They, too, were overbooked, so they apologized and gave us their owner’s suite at no extra charge!”

“Well,” muttered the hairdresser, “that’s all well and good, but I know you didn’t get to see the Pope.” “Actually, we were quite lucky, because as we toured the Vatican, a Swiss Guard tapped me on the shoulder, and explained that the Pope likes to meet some of the visitors, and if I’d be so kind as to step into his private room and wait, the Pope would personally greet me. Sure  enough, five minutes later, the Pope walked through the door and shook my hand! I knelt down and he spoke a few words to me.”   
”Oh, really! What’d he say ?” He said: “Who fucked up your hair?”

Zipper's

8 Responses to “Joke Of The Week”


  1. 1 burnout Oct 17th, 2013 at 12:12 pm

    I was walking past the local mental hospital yesterday and all the patients were outside shouting “13..13..13..13”! The fence was too high for me to look over but I saw a gap in the planks and looked through to see what was going on. Some idiot poked me in the eye with a stick! THEN they all started shouting “14..14..14..14”! And THAT is how I learned to mind my own business!! peace

  2. 2 Snooz button Oct 17th, 2013 at 8:20 pm

    Burnout, Now that was funny!

  3. 3 Jeff Nicklus Oct 18th, 2013 at 9:56 am

    She is single ……

    She lives right across the road.

    I can see her place from my deck.

    I watched as she got home from work this evening.

    I was surprised when she walked across the street and up my driveway and knocked on my door.

    I rushed to open it, she looks at me and says, “I just got home, and I feel so horny! I have this strong urge to have a good time, get drunk, and make love all night long!

    Are you busy tonight?”

    I quickly replied, “Nope, I’m free, I have no plans at all!”

    She said, “Great! Could you watch my dog?”

    Getting older really sucks!

    Over & Out,

    Jeff

  4. 4 Olive Oil Oct 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    A very cute Catholic nun was sitting on a train opposite a Muslim man wearing a turban, who was eating shrimp.

    Every time he ate one, he definitely spat the tail in her direction, requiring her to dodge or deflect it.

    He finished the box of shrimp and threw it out the window. Seeing this, she’d had enough of his rudeness, lack of manners, and his total disdain of women. She got up and pulled the train’s Emergency Cord.

    The Muslim looked at her and said, “You’ll get fined $250 for doing that, you stupid female, worthless Infidel, Catholic bitch.”

    She smiled and said to him, “When I cry rape and they smell your fingers, you’ll get 10 years in prison, you rag-headed, goat-lovin camel-fucker.

  5. 5 Olive Oil Oct 18th, 2013 at 2:32 pm

    Two Middle East mothers are sitting in a cafe chatting over a plate of tabouli and a pint of goat’s milk.

    The older of the two pulls a small folder out of her handbag and starts flipping through photos. They start reminiscing.

    ”This is my oldest son, Mujibar. He would have been 24 years old now.”

    ”Yes, I remember him as a baby.” says the other mother cheerfully.

    “He’s a martyr now though.” the mother confides.

    “Oh, so sad dear…” says the other.

    ”And this is my second son, Khalid. He would have been 21.”

    ”Oh, I remember him,” says the other happily, ”he had such curly hair when he was born.”

    ”He’s a martyr too…” says the mother quietly.

    ”Oh, gracious me…” says the other.

    ”And this is my third son. My baby. My beautiful Ahmed. He would have been 18”, she whispers.

    “Yes,” says the friend enthusiastically, ”I remember when he first started school…”

    ”He’s a martyr also,” says the mother, with tears in her eyes.

    After a pause and a deep sigh, the second Muslim mother looks wistfully at the photographs and, searching for the right words, says . . .

    “They blow up so fast, don’t they?”

  6. 6 Olive Oil Oct 18th, 2013 at 2:33 pm

    A blonde gets home from work early and hears strange noises coming from the
    bedroom.

    She rushes upstairs only to find her husband naked lying on the bed,
    sweating and panting.

    ‘What’s up?’ she asks.

    ‘I think I’m having a heart attack,’ – cries the husband..

    The blonde rushes downstairs to grab the phone, but just as she’s dialing,
    her four-year-old son comes up and says , “Mummy Mummy Aunty Shirley is
    hiding in the wardrobe and she has no clothes on”

    The blonde slams the phone down and storms back upstairs into the bedroom
    right past her husband…

    Rips open the wardrobe door and sure enough, there is her sister, totally
    naked and cowering on the floor.

    ‘You rotten Bitch’, she screams. ‘My husband’s having a heart attack,
    and you’re running around naked playing hide and seek with the kids!!’

  7. 7 Olive Oil Oct 18th, 2013 at 2:35 pm

    An 80-year old woman was arrested for shoplifting. When she went before the judge

    he asked her, “What did you steal?”

    She replied, “A can of peaches.”

    The judge then asked her why she had stolen the can of peaches and she replied

    that she was hungry.

    The judge then asked her how many peaches were in the can.

    She replied, “6.”

    The judge said, “Then I will give you 6 days in jail.”

    Before the judge could conclude the trial, the woman’s husband spoke up and

    asked the judge if he could say something.

    The judge said, “Yes, what is it?”

    The husband said, “She also stole a can of peas.”

  8. 8 read more Dec 4th, 2013 at 8:10 pm

    Useful information. Lucky me I discovered your site unintentionally, and I am stunned why this coincidence did not happened in advance! I bookmarked it.

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