A woman from New York was driving through a remote part of Arizona when her car broke down. An American Indian on horseback came along and offered her a ride to a nearby town.
She climbed up behind him on the horse and they rode off. The ride was uneventful, except that every few minutes the Indian would let out a Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a’ so loud that it echoed from the surrounding hills and canyon walls. When they arrived in town, he let her off at the local service station, yelled one final ‘Ye-e-e-e-h-a-a-a-a!’ and rode off.
“What did you do to get that Indian so excited?” asked the service-station attendant. “Nothing,” the woman answered “I merely sat behind him on the horse, put my arms around his waist, and held onto the saddle horn so I wouldn’t fall off.”
“Lady,” the attendant said, “Indians don’t use saddles.”
A very old man lay dying in his bed. In death’s doorway, he suddenly smelled the aroma of his favorite chocolate chip cookie wafting up the stairs.
He gathered his remaining strength and lifted himself from the bed. Leaning against the wall, he slowly made his way out of the bedroom, and with even greater effort forced himself down the stairs, gripping the railing with both hands.
With labored breath, he leaned against the door frame, gazing into the kitchen. Were it not for death’s agony, he would have thought himself already in heaven.
There, spread out on newspapers on the kitchen table were literally hundreds of his favorite chocolate chip cookies.
Was it heaven? Or was it one final act of heroic love from his devoted wife, seeing to it that he left this world a happy man?
Mustering one great final effort, he threw himself toward the table. The aged and withered hand, shaking, made its way to a cookie at the edge of the table, when he was suddenly smacked with a spatula by his wife.
“Stay out of those,” she said. “They’re for the funeral.”
One dark night outside a small town in Minnesota , a fire
started inside the local chemical plant and in a blink of an eye it exploded
into massive flames. The alarm went out to all the fire departments for
miles around.
When the volunteer fire fighters appeared on the scene, the
chemical company president rushed to the fire chief and said, “All our
secret formulas are in the vault in the center of the plant. They must be
saved. I will give $50,000 to the fire department that brings them out
intact.”
But the roaring flames held the firefighters off. Soon more
fire departments had to be called in as the situation became desperate. As
the firemen arrived, the president shouted out that the offer was now
$100,000 to the fire department who could bring out the company’s secret
files.
From the distance, a lone siren was heard as another fire
truck came into sight. It was the nearby Norwegian rural township volunteer
fire company composed mainly of Norwegians over the age of 65.
To everyone’s amazement, that little run-down fire engine roared right
past all the newer sleek engines that were parked outside the plant.
Without even slowing down it drove straight into the middle
of the inferno. Outside, the other firemen watched as the Norwegian old
timers jumped off right in the middle of the fire fought it back on all sides.
It was a performance and effort never seen before.
Within a short time, the Norske old timers had extinguished
the fire and had saved the secret formulas. The grateful chemical company
president announced that for such a superhuman feat he was upping the reward
to $200,000, and walked over to personally thank each of the brave fire
fighters.
The local TV news reporter rushed in to capture the event on
film, asking their chief, “What are you going to do with all that money?”
“Vell,” said Ole Larsen, the 70-year-old fire chief, “Da
first thing ve gonna do is fix da brakes on dat focking truck!
Olive,
as a northerner w/many Norwegians around here, THAT is one of the funnier Norsky jokes I’ve read.
Thanks! Passing it around to my Norwegian friends.
Joke of the week?, these were good but I thought the joke of the week, was the 32″ wheel article above…….
George Bush, Queen Elizabeth, and Vladimir Putin all die and go to hell.
While there, they spy a red phone and ask what the phone is for. The devil tells them it is for calling back to Earth.
Putin asks to call Russia and talks for 5 minutes. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $1 million dollars, so Putin writes him a check.
Next Queen Elizabeth calls England and talks for 30 minutes. When she is finished the devil informs her that the cost is $6 million dollars, so she writes him a check.
Finally George Bush gets his turn and talks for 4 hours. When he is finished the devil informs him that the cost is $5.00. When Putin hears this he goes ballistic and asks the devil why Bush got to call the USA so cheaply.
The devil smiles and replies, “Since Obama took over, the country has gone to hell, so it’s a local call.”
-nicker-
Hey nicker, Racist! LOL!
Over & Out,
Jeff
Jeff,
Well, you know me…..
I’m not a great fan of the “self-important” trying to fix the unfixable…….
As thy say “ya just can’t fix stupid.”
And although we appear to be “stuck with stupid,” we don’t have to like him……. 🙂
-nicker-