On the farm lived a chicken and a horse, both of whom loved to play together. One day the two were playing, when the horse fell into a bog and began to sink. Scared for his life, the horse whinnied for the chicken to go get the farmer for help!
Off the chicken ran, back to the farm. Arriving at the farm, he searched and searched for the farmer, but to no avail, for he had gone to town with the only tractor. Running around, the chicken spied the farmer’s new Harley. Finding the keys in the ignition, the chicken sped off with a length of rope hoping he still had time to save his friend’s life.
Back at the bog, the horse was surprised, but happy, to see the chicken arrive on the shiny Harley, and he managed to get a hold of the loop of rope the chicken tossed to him. After tying the other end to the rear bumper of the farmer’s bike, the chicken then drove slowly forward and, with the aid of the powerful bike, rescued the horse!
Happy and proud, the chicken rode the Harley back to the farmhouse, and the farmer was none the wiser when he returned. The friendship between the two animals was cemented: Best Buddies, Best Pals.
A few weeks later, the chicken fell into a mud pit, and soon, he too, began to sink and cried out to the horse to save his life! The horse thought a moment, walked over, and straddled the large puddle. Looking underneath, he told the chicken to grab his hangy-down thingy and he would then lift him out of the pit. The chicken got a good grip, and the horse pulled him up and out, saving his life.
The moral of the story? (yep, you betcha, there is a moral!) ‘When You’re Hung Like A Horse, You Don’t Need A Harley To Pick Up Chicks!
LOL.
thats too funny
Man marry’s women
Women says to her new groom, “Please promise to be gentle,… I am still a virgin.
“The startled groom asks, “How can that be?
You’ve been married 3 times before.”
The bride responds…”Well, its this way:
1. ” My first husband was a psychiatrist and all he ever wanted to do was talk about it.”
2. “My second husband was a gynecologist and all he ever wanted to do was look at it.”
3. ” My third husband was a stamp collector and all he ever wanted to do was…………. Lord! I miss him!”
“But you’re a lawyer, so now I *know* I’m gonna get F_ _ _ __!
A mate of mine owns the local Honda dealership and the first time I rolled up there on my awesome Dyna,(he only tolerates this because I ride a Honda dirt bike) he says to me. Did you know that 98% of all Harley Davidsons ever made are still on the road today? Yep! the other 2% made it home… An oldy I know but I was new to HD then and I nearly bust a gut!
During a commercial airline flight an old Biker was seated next to a young mother with a baby in arms. When her baby began crying during the descent for landing, the mother began nursing her infant as discreetly as possible. The Biker pretended not to notice and, upon debarking, he gallantly offered his assistance to help with the various baby-related articles.
When the young mother expressed her gratitude, he responded, “Gosh, that’s a good looking baby…and he sure was hungry!” Somewhat embarrassed, the mother explained that her pediatrician said breast feeding would help alleviate the pressure in the baby’s ears.
The Biker sadly shook his head and exclaimed…….. And all these years I’ve been chewing gum.
-nicker-
What if your hung like a horse and ride a Harley ?
Hey Cyclereckr, if any Harley rider is hung like a TEXAS MULE, that’s why side car’s are optional.
THE ITALIAN WEDDING TEST
I was a very happy man.
My wonderful girlfriend and I had been dating for over a year.
So we decided to get married.
There was only one little thing bothering me..
It was her beautiful younger sister, Sofia.
My prospective sister-in-law was twenty-two, wore very tight miniskirts, and generally was Bra-less.
She would regularly bend down when she was near me.
I always got more than a nice view.
It had to be deliberate.
she never did it around anyone else.
One day she called me and asked me to come over.
‘To check my Sister’s wedding- invitations’ she said.
She was alone when I arrived.
she whispered to me that she had feelings and desires for me.
she couldn’t overcome them anymore.
She told me that she wanted me just once before I got married.
She said “Before you commit your life to my sister”.
Well, I was in total shock, and I couldn’t say a word.
She said, “I’m going upstairs to my bedroom” she said.
“if you want one last wild fling, just come up and have me”.
I was stunned and frozen in shock as I watched her go up the stairs.
I stood there for a moment..
Then turned and made a bee-line straight to the front door.
I opened the door, and headed straight towards my car.
Lo And behold, my entire future family was standing outside, all clapping!
With tears in his eyes, my father-in-law hugged me.
He said, ‘Sergio, we are very happy that you have passed our little test.
We couldn’t ask for a better man for our daughter.
Welcome to the family my son..’
And the moral of this story is:
Always keep your condoms in your car.
Cyclereckr Jan 4th, 2013 at 7:51 am
What if your hung like a horse and ride a Harley ? ===================================================
1. Choke the chicken .
2. I’m assuming you are asking for a shy friend LOL
1.The fattest knight at King Arthur’s round table was Sir Cumference. He acquired his size from too much pi.
2.I thought I saw an eye doctor on an Alaskan island, but it turned out to be an optical Aleutian.
3. She was only a whiskey maker, but he loved her still.
4. A backward poet writes inverse.
5. No matter how much you push the envelope, it’ll still be stationery.
6. A dog gave birth to puppies near the road and was cited for littering.
7. A grenade thrown into a kitchen in France would result in Linoleum Blownapart.
8. Two silk worms had a race. They ended up in a tie.
9. A hole has been found in the nudist camp wall. The police are looking into it.
10. Time flies like an arrow. Fruit flies like a banana.
11. Atheism is a non-prophet organization.
12.Two hats were hanging on a hat rack in the hallway. One hat said to the other: ‘You stay here; I’ll go on a head.’
13. I wondered why the baseball kept getting bigger. Then it hit me.
14. A sign on the lawn at a drug rehab center said: ‘Keep off the Grass.’
15. The midget fortune-teller who escaped from prison was a small medium at large.
16. The soldier who survived mustard gas and pepper spray is now a seasoned veteran.
17. A rubber band pistol was confiscated from algebra class, because it was a weapon of math disruption.
18. In a democracy it’s your vote that counts. In feudalism it’s your count that votes.
19. When cannibals ate a missionary, they got a taste of religion.
20. If you jumped off the bridge in Paris, you’d be in Seine .
21. A vulture boards an airplane, carrying two dead raccoons. The stewardess looks at him and says, ‘I’m sorry, sir, only one carrion allowed per passenger.’
22. Two fish swim into a concrete wall. One turns to the other and says ‘Dam!’
23. Two Eskimos sitting in a kayak were chilly, so they lit a fire in the craft. Unsurprisingly it sank, proving once again that you can’t have your kayak and heat it too.
24. Two hydrogen atoms meet. One says, ‘I’ve lost my electron.’ The other says ‘Are you sure?’ The first replies, ‘Yes, I’m positive.’
25. There was the person who sent ten puns to friends, with the hope that at least one of the puns would make them laugh. No pun in ten did.
hey ,Tom Ryan, Mules are sterile !
cycereckr, you have oviously never seen a texas mule!